NEW Earth Transitions Email Series: Week #6
My 3rd Dimension: Living an Unconscious "Human Life"
Awareness Comes AFTER
3rd Dimension = Level of Consciousness where the external matches the vibration = Ego = Hell
We don't wake up Saints... We wake up with all of our stuff coming up and every ounce of lack is going to become visible. Tis how this works. ♥
It's important to understand that while we are fully in the 3rd Dimension, we don't realize that we are in an unconscious reality, because it's our EVERYDAY LIVES... and we are the one living from our head/ego too, so we can't SEE it/all as it truly is, until we start to awaken through the 4th Dimensional experience (and the 5th randomly too). At first, for many of us, we just become acutely aware that "something is off", not okay, that we are tired, not completely happy and that our external and internal realities don't match up anymore. We start to FEEL vibrationally, yet we often don't even understand this until much much later, as we expand into a higher dimensional understanding as to what was "really" going on with us, instead of the old limiting beliefs of "something is wrong".... This starts us down a road/path of "trying to figure things out", which is an important part of our processes here, because we don't easily accept "what's really going on" at first. Our brain is "too small". Literally. We have fixed beliefs where our neural pathways have to first be re-mapped and then open up completely for us to REMEMBER fully here. We do not realize we've entered into a Multi-Dimensional Experience and that WE are the ones living deep beneath VEILS OF AMNESIA with our whole bodies and in order to awaken fully, we have to transcend the entire lower dimensional realms from within us... so that our DNA can re-write itself and our LightBody can activate to bring us online with our own NEW EARTH EXISTENCE... which is a massive process within itself.
Now, there's no way for me to share my entire 3rd/4th Dimensional Life here. One, because it would be wayyyyyy to heavy, as I chose (on a Galactic Soul Level) to go deeeeeeeeeeeep asleep (fall from Consciousness) so deep beneath the veils, that I basically had no clue, other than "weird stuff" "that didn't fit in", all along the way.... a rough/harsh existence, with this being my first/only incarnation as a Walk-In into the physical here. So, I will mention topics and highlights, just to make points so each can see some of how this works. Then throughout the series, refer to which dimension I'm speaking of, as I share on various experiences as a part of our awakening here.
This one's going to be LONG. I could have broken it down into several, yet I'll cover other things later. There's still so very much, so I'm putting this long one out so we can move onto other things! ♥
AWAKENINGS: HARSH AND ABRUPT OR KIND AND GRACEFUL
Each one of us "do" it differently. Many of us "chose a journey" of being stripped down to "nothing", for our own Ego to dissolve, for our Light to ignite, for our own Soul to awaken to emerge.... to often start from scratch (again), first BUILDING and FORMING a PURE relationship with our own Universal/Higher Self, in order to merge as ONE, to then begin building all new foundations for actual physical REALities, breath by breath, one step at a time, then Quantum Leaps and Bounds.
For each of us, our experiences were "Our Way" for us to awaken to REMEMBER fully here....
Others, they chose a bit of an easier path.... because they already "got/understood" some of this. Their their ego matrix programming was not as deep, so it didn't take as EXTREME OF A JOURNEY to open their hearts, minds to BE OPEN to start to Transition over to NEW Earth, where we all Live in Physical bodies and walk, work, play in ... Our Heaven on Earth.
WE all do have to dissolve every ounce of EGO that we have. We cannot bring that with us, for y/our physical body to ascend. Complete Unification inside.... as well as "out there".... which is another VAST part of the process for us all... I hear all of the time "I've been awake for years, for most my life, or since I was a child." That's awesome. It's still completely different than being an Ascended (Master Light) BEing, in the physical here. There are still ego constructs and deep programming held and all of that has to clear the body vehicle, which can be intense, no matter how deep asleep or awake we were, or for how long, as that's all linear-human-ego-separation-duality programming.
Returning to a SIMPLE EXISTENCE of Purity is a process of TRANSCENDENCE and REMEMBERING...
Those of us that held on tightly out of fear, we drug all out (creating our own suffering) and held on until our tired worn-down, boney fingers were pried loose... because our ego didn't want our realities "messed with". We had them all "appearing" to be tied up neatly in a nice little box. NOT!
THERE ISN'T ONE MOMENT OF AWAKENING: IT'S ALL OF THEM
IT'S JUST THAT SOME MAKE A HUGER IMPACT TO
SHAKE/JOLT US OR SUPPORT/UPLIFT US AWAKE
When I "look back" "over time", I can see all of the things that assisted in my own awakening here. Some were loving and kind, some were harsh, some were beautiful, some were off-the-charts excruciatingly intense... all necessary to clear my own programming and assist my own heart/mind opening and my own SOUL LIGHT activating to finally come through. One that stands out distinctly, was being "scared awake". I had a moment to choose me or not care and in the moment, I didn't care. The result of that was the "threat of death", being faced with the "consequences" of my own actions and seeing how much I didn't want to live (up until that moment), as when actually faced with life or death, I didn't really want to die. I just wanted to escape the "pain" of the 3rd Dimension (separation within myself). That doesn't work...
I then had to (learn to) open my heart more, to me and start to truly LOVE MYSELF FULLY/MORE and "do the work", instead of trying to "get away from it all". That moment was another pivotal one. I actually chose PEACE over all the CHAOS that in some weird way kept my energy going before.... now I "got it".
Now I'd start a "new journey". One where simplicity, peace and functioning from my new deep connection within me would lead the way to exploring and finding out who I "truly was" and it was "nothing" like old me.... a whole new ME was about to birth. The one I'd lost and forgotten. Pure Divine SOURCE LOVE.... ♥ Once our heart opens all of the way fully and we are filled with PURE SOURCE LIGHT, we emanate this with every breath... our higher mind consciousness opens up to synchronize fully, moving us to the next service and LightBody phase. Our hearts and minds never close again.
Our LightBodies are "on" 24/7. We just shift how we function in every moment, to accommodate integration/upgrades and evolutionary processes for embodying more Light and span multiple dimensions all simultaneously... working/functioning and accomplishing in each one consciously.... where this "converged" reality gets easier and more magnificent as we go. ♥
My Heart/SOUL/Light was Locked Away - Deep Inside of ME - Hidden
I had a heavy duty journey behind me and another one ahead.
I will share a few "linear" things, in order to see the bigger picture. These are just old "stories" that we use to teach. There's no emotion or attachment or even visual, as once we clear that akash, it's gone. Just a "moment" in space... that we are aware of that once occurred. Once that timeline is "gone"... we can "see" it if we choose, yet the details don't matter anymore... none of it does... unless we "need" to use it to assist others with awakening easier here.
I walked into this body/form, when this body was 3 years old. It was a Soul Exchange agreement, yet the body had it's "up to 3 years old" cellular programs, that I would have to later clear. I remember the actual moment, the entire experience, always as if it was "yesterday". I chose "pure trauma and heavy separation" to walk into and experience from that moment forward, to re-in-force my own Separation/Disconnection from Self as Source, from anything resembling any kind of "heal"thy love and where I only "remembered" being "dropped off on this planet" and left here... unaware it was my Soul chosen journey (Earth School) choice.
As a child, I immediately started "sleeping", with the "unexplainable" being diagnosed as mono... as multi-dimensionality was NOT on the menu of options back then, also having nervous and immune system issues, as our Crystalline LightBodies don't "adapt" to being shoved and forced into Linear (distorted) realities, and I'd chosen the Mac-daddy of distorted families.... living in doctors offices for medication, diagnoses and treatment for "the barrage of continual issues and often "unexplainable", all becoming "medical issues", from the moment I walked in, this body went haywire.
The family I chose to play out my pre-determined (soul chosen) human experience/experiment, was deep asleep, extremely unconscious and exactly what I designed for me to experience in order to "find my way back home" through myself, inside, to come to love me fully.... by transcending every "horrible, dysfunctional, messed up thing, according to the human perception of what "normal" and "acceptable" is. As a small child, I was suicidal, wanting off of this planet and sitting at my bedroom window each night looking for "ship" to come back and pick me up to take me home, off of this "god-forsaken" planet of hate, hurt, lies and betrayal. I had no idea I chose and designed all of this.....
Because star-beings are not meant to "fit in" or conform, we "shape-shifted" into the human reality, our DNA adapting to the experience, which corrupted our templates (using words to describe, yet all was exactly as it was set-forth/meant to be/pre-determined by "me"). The extremely distorted, was my own matrix illusion... for me to travel and fully transcend from within. It took me all the way up to the "moment" I was ready to fully awaken, as it was my "conspiracy" and represented the entire survival level of awakening that I had to clear in order to return/remember myself as PURE SOURCE LOVE and to bring my own Light out from within.
From "day 1", I "learned" not to open my heart, or touch, or love, or depend on anyone else, as it only led to deep abuse, suffering, hurt and pain. It wasn't until my "angel relationship gift" from 2009-2013 that I actually was able to "have a space" that supported my awakening through kindness, support, looking out for each other/having each other's back and working together as a team. The boyfriend/girlfriend part ended beginning of 2012 each oht(actually ended in 2012), yet we stayed together as friends, to support each other as we both started our new lives separately), to later go our separate ways, with the utmost kindness, respect and appreciation and learning to live in Unity Consciousness, while having separate lives, purposes and focuses, learning what holding our relationship to a higher state of consciousness was.
I was a "nerd", loved computers, video games, reality shows, anything that challenged my mind. I had "studied" humans my entire life, yet didn't quite understand fully until after I ascended and awakened fully.
I was obsessed with pretty cut crystals glass, that sparkled, shined and reflected .... I didn't "find" crystals until I started to wake up, then they started to "talk" and I got obsessed when I started feeling the vibrations of them. I didn't "know" we were crystals... until much later.
My whole human experience, one of extreme abuse, narcissism and "pain", because this was my first/only incarnation into a physical form... so I chose to experience ALL OF IT in this existence, so that I could remember, understand and utilize all of the knowledge as a GIFT to assist others with awakening through similar experiences, because I did it too. I had finally "overcome" all of that and was "owing the world", achieving "against all odds", when my world took a dramatic turn into a crop circle off over in oblivion somewhere.... as it was time to 'wake up' from my illusion I called "reality"...
I was unaware at the time, of "twin" relationships, to the matrix/degree that they are. Later, after I had ascended, I came to understand, when it was time (vibrationally) for a Twin Relationship to clear karmic timelines and unconscious programming in my body that I couldn't otherwise get to on my own. As I completed this 2 1/2 year experience with Twin #3, I started to see/understand that I had had two primary others along the way, with many other "mini-twins" playing out various roles, if you will. All three of the ones that "got to me the deepest", had the same Soul Energy Signature, yet in different human form. This helped me understand the whole twin dynamic and matrix program and how all works to elevate us to Divine Soul Unions and later Partnerships, way beyond the "Twin Flame Ignition" experience which is a karmic one.
At 17 years old, my first twin came forth, as a way to bust my heart wide open, and start the first "leg" of my awakening process, at which I stayed deep beneath the veils for another 25 years, when my 2nd twin would come along, again blowing my heart wide open, to start the next phase of my (kundalini) awakening journey, and start me down the path of my "dark night" year and 1/2 of ego, psychotic, deep, heavy distortions/death.
At 19, in and out of extremely abusive relationships and without a home, I had a beautiful son, that I completely adored, and he became my #1 priority, yet I had to work a ridiculous amount of hours to support us both. We lived on very little, yet always "enough". He was all that mattered to me. He was beautiful and the beat of my heart. Yet I always "prepared him" for if I "was gone". I see now where I always expected to "leave here", by way of death or whatever, yet was not conscious of it at the time. Having me for a mom was challenging, as he watched me go from extreme to extreme, as I tried so hard to make "life" work. He loved me. I was just never "the normal mom". He was my buddy, my pride and my joy, yet I also had to let him go live his own life, as a part of our Soul Agreements here. Today, he's a beautiful man, with a beautiful wife and my two rainbow crystal grandsons, of whom I completely adore. ♥
Relationship after relationship after relationship... years of distortions and extreme everything. I "survived" everything, the harshest and the roughest, therefore making me the "invisible" consummate victim, as being a "survivor of hell" was my identity and the stories I led everything with. That recognition I received, that "respect" I received, was also what fed my own separation more, as I had no clue that I was the ultimate suppressor of "hell" and that when it was truly time for me to wake up, HELL was an understatement for what came pouring out of every orifice of me...
For jobs, I ran businesses, companies, taught and trained people, achieving everything I put my mind to. I did computer programming, built them from scratch, could break an engine down and put it back together, roofed houses, took car engines apart and rebuilt them, did apartment maintenance, payroll/accounting, admin, marketing, management... even some engineering schematics. Everything linear logical, service, very physical... yet when it was time to start waking up, I moved into Social Service, which challenged/assisted me with opening my heart in all new ways.
As a child, I didn't really have "a childhood". Beyond "very lonely" and completely disconnected from everyone and everything, my world was "dark" from day 1. This was to create/reinforce "deep separation" within me to Transcend. I learned to "survive" everything through toughness and not trusting anyone ever...
As a child I would beg to go swimming, the pool, the beach, the bathtub, as I would tell everyone "I'm a mermaid from Atlantis". That was "real" for me. One day someone told me Atlantis wasn't "real". It shattered my whole reality.
As a child I'd go to the library and go to the books on magic and sit to recite incantations and even spells. I had this "weird" fascination that I "hid", because it wasn't acceptable and didn't "fit in". I was also obsessed with wizards, dragons, swords, jewels, fairies, lighthouses... and everything creative/art/music.
I sang in a band, did public speaking, excelled at art and basically everything I put my "mind" to...
Each relationship served many karmic purposes. Every one necessary and honoring soul contracts that we completed when it was time to close the timeline out and move on.
As a child and into my adult years, I'd tell everyone "I'm going to live in Hawaii one day". I'd never been here, or even seen it, yet I was obsessed and I was insistent. It just "was". I forgot about this until one day in "My Universe said "pack your bags, you're going to Kauai." It still took me a few years to get my vibration high enough, close out old timelines, complete contracts and be ready to move here. I was excited and scared all at the same time, yet I "knew".... my whole life. But I had to ascend first, get my physical body's vibration up... then it was "time"...
For me, my whole life was basically the 3rd Dimension (Hell), with the occasional heart opening experience, to then plunge me deeper into more hell. I didn't know anything else, so "hell" became "normal" and we just learn to "survive". My whole life had been "survival mode". My body showed it too.
When I got pregnant, my heart opened, which meant my body went into "release/haywire" mode. Because I didn't understand anything, I "blamed" the pregnancy for all of the "health problems", developing toxemia, high blood pressure, diabetes and many other things, gaining a ridiculous amount of weight, that just continued to exacerbate each year after that. The more "my stuff tried to surface", the more I suppressed, the bigger my body got. I went from "perfect figure" teenager to over 200 lbs. with my pregnancy.
By 2001, I was almost 350 lbs. and had many life-threatening "conditions", with no "end in sight". My body organs and systems shutting down, barely able to physically function anymore, in and out of the hospital, a lifetime of doctors, on 30 pills a day to try to "control" the pain that didn't seem to have a "reason" or "make sense", the congestive heart failure, edema, renal failure, compressed lungs, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, degenerative neck/spinal bones, excruciating back pain (blocked Kundalini/root chakra), diabetes/diabetic comas, migraines, vomiting and inability to keep food down anymore, tophy gout, toxic blood... I didn't have much longer to live. My body was shutting down...I was dying.... finally. Yet, now I was scared of "death". By then, my body was riddled with fear, yet my "strong" me kept just trying to "survive/get through". Just keep breathing one more breath... I was miserable and still had no clue. My Crystalline LightBody had been trying to come online my whole life, yet because I didn't understand, I "fought" the whole process through ignorance and fear. Therefore, my body started dying... it couldn't live, because I was not integrating my light, I was fighting it and trying to suppress it, and had no idea at all.... I was "doing" what we did as unconscious humans.... trying to fix or mask a "problem", instead of listening to and loving my body and myself.
All I "knew" was to keep surviving.... keep plugging along... keep working hard... keep struggling... keep fighting... keep it under control... (for what would "others think" if they really know what was going on inside of me. I didn't even want to see.
In 2001, the doctors told me that I'd either have a gastric bypass or die. I'd fought this, as I didn't "fail" things. I was still "kidding myself" that I could "lose weight" and get healthy "myself". Yet this time was different, I knew. I knew I was dying, I knew I didn't have a choice, I knew I had to do this... it was "my last chance". Now I had to "fight to live". Through every Near Death Experience, on the brink of death, I had to beg to live. This is what started to anchor me here on this Earth. it would still be awhile before I started the integration process, which turned everything around. First the surgery, then starting to care about myself, and start to inJOY life a bit. I then went the "other extreme", so happy, losing weight, I had a new lease on life, yet I still was in the dysfunctional distortions, and it would take me many more years and experiences of "devastating" before my heart could open enough to actually start to care about myself, my life and my body in conscious ways and start to re-educate myself completely, learning all new ways that were the "opposite" of all that I'd come to know/learn/understand. Yet it was a beginning....
The next 7 years would be the beginning, prior to my "waking up". Tumultuous, reconnecting with myself, choosing myself, stopping the cycles, the habits, the escaping, the disconnect from myself and my relationships and starting to explore me.... exercising, losing the weight, figuring out what made me happy, working hard, yet this time was different, I was actually somewhat happy, still unconscious, but a semblance of "happy", which was necessary for the next phase to begin. My son was grown, and while we didn't see each other much, he was just a few hours away and when I did see him, he brought "joy" to my heart... the one person that always could. ♥ I had come to love hard, play hard, work hard... be hard... closed off. Unshakable... until...
In 2008, everything started to change. While finally "free" in my "happy" life, achieving so much, the stability and "certainty" started to go. The company that I worked for was closing the doors.... which turned my world upside down. I'd been working 75 hours a week, I had no where to go and no way to support myself... I was "over qualified" for every job I applied for, and that which I "prided myself with" no longer made a difference. Unemployment became "my new", placing me "at home" "alone", to face everything that'd had been hidden away. When the unemployment ended, no job "worked"... I decided to transition into "this stuff", starting simple and working my way "up". I learned to have nothing and be so happy, because I was doing something that my SOUL needed to do..... and that's all that really mattered. The rest would work itself out.... and it did. Baby step by baby step, to bigger steps to huge jumps then Quantum Leaps and bounds! All I had to do, was the work.... :)
By then I was "skinny", I looked good, yet had no "substance" to my life. I was "empty" and just making my way through this thing we called "life". I just didn't know that this was what I was doing. All of my "connections" were surface, fleeting or based upon distortions, need and "seeking" to fulfill something and dependent on something outside of me... I just didn't know any better yet. And all of a "sudden", I had "these emotions"... out of "nowhere" .... what the hell?
This "wasn't me". I was strong! I could accomplish anything. I'd "proven my worth" in the corporate world, which meant A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y N-O-T-H-I-N-G... as I was about to find out!
The "cool thing" was that I was able to "explore" me, explore "spirituality/metaphysics" and "helping people". Not what I started out doing, yet it inspired me... awakened something within me. I was able to start local groups, explore something that "explained" the unexplainable.. (energy and our gifts)... All triggered when someone called me an "empath". A what? Now I was on a rampage, because at that time, I still didn't understand "vibrations/energy/programs", yet the word resonated and now I had a new purpose! Figuring "me" out. Boy, deeeeeeep through the rabbit hole we went.....
A whole new everything was birthed!
I'll share more as we go, that's enough for now.... let's jump into some other things...
3 D: A House of Cards (Extremely Fixed Realities, Building our Life/Control/Working Hard)
4D: The "House" Came Down: Everything Starts Shaking, Shifting, Moving (Collapsing/Fear Moves In)
5D: A "House" of Peace, Magic & Bliss: Building all NEW REALities with a whole new foundation: Pure SOUL LOVE)
2009: Talk about "The Fire" Igniting
This takes place in every way.... Hell hath no fury... than a human "cornered" in a box/house of cards, that's about to collapse/fall apart.
Still trying to "control", I was hanging on and losing it all at the same time. My neat little boxes where I had everything tucked away and hidden ... started turning to mush, unraveling and my realities were all kinda falling apart.
Everything I'd worked so hard for, everything I planned... all just "poof".... as if it never had been. Every time I'd try to "make it work", something would happen and I couldn't. It just wouldn't. It's like there was a "force" working against me. Little did I know... it was me.
I held on as hard as I could... I fought with every ounce of energy that I had. I tried, I cried, I begged.... "Please Universe... "I promise" to do things differently, just "get me through". Until one day I was in the shower, "at the bottom/end" again, breaking/lost again.... and I realized.... "I always end up at this place". Begging "just get me by"..... This realization shifted everything.
Before that, I was on top of the world. I "owned" the physical reality, I was great at running businesses and managing everyone and everything.... Everyone could depend on me. I carried "the whole world".... and everyone in my life. Just "go to Lisa, she'll fix it". And I would.
I excelled at everything I put my mind too and I had all of these "natural abilities" to see what others couldn't and I loved accomplishing.... yet it was very different back then. It was all my ego, a way to prove myself/my worthiness... yet I didn't know this. My intentions "were good".
Back then, I was always trying to "prove myself", how important or skilled I was. How much I could make, how tough/strong I was, how I didn't need anyone, how I could always come out on top, how I had all the "logical" answers and how I always "got what I wanted". I just had to work hard and not really let anyone "in". I'd protect myself from "others", as they could only hurt me or take advantage of me if I let my guard down, which I spent my every day making sure would never happen.
I put walls up on top of my walls, building a fortress around my heart. I'd been hurt all my life. I actually "led my life" with expecting to be hurt, expecting the shoe to drop, expecting something to always happen.... I didn't know HOW to truly live free from within me.
I wasn't going to get hurt anymore... I ran the show, I controlled, not having a clue of how "messed up I was" inside. All of this, my distortions, my separation, my duality.... and it was all coming up... with a vengeance, where I could not "control" anymore. I used to say "I'll play Devil's Advocate" and I'd rip realities to shreds, yet not as love... all from protection and fear.
Being Unconscious and Being Jolted, Shaken, Broken and Shocked Awake
HELL WOKE UP INSIDE OF ME and I had no clue what was going on...
I have no desire to get stuck in focusing on "hell", as there's plenty "out there" that do this .... yet it's important to create the picture, so there's a more expanded view on how multi-dimensional awakenings occur.
I went from "thinking I was happy", living this pretty awesome life of achieving success, having a child, and working hard, to kerplunk into the depths of hell and being so overwhelmed and overstimulated as my nervous system went into overload and my systems started to shut down. The whole "outside world" became too much. Going out in crowds was like walking in a field of triggers. Smells, noise and the energy of other people. I could FEEL (what I "thought" was "everyone else's stuff". I started preferring to be alone, happy to stay at home, by myself. I just couldn't "take out there" anymore. Even going to concerts, dancing and having fun... there was no JOY in the experience anymore. I began to LOVE being a hermit. (I didn't know I was clearing my field).
I was a nice, kind, caring person and I looked out for others, helped others... what the hell?
Didn't matter, as that's just like PHASE 1 of our "human experience" here. Upside down, my whole world went... Inside of me went haywire, my body went haywire... which means Quantum, in Lamens terms. (now, the word is actually Layman's Terms, yet I spelled it lamens, and the software told me I mis-spelled the word. When I looked it up, Lamens has to do with MAGIC, so nope, didn't mis-spell it, only according to pre-5D/linear ways). ♥
I had no clue that "hell" was a culmination of my whole life and all of my existences... all buried deep inside of my body, in my cells and template, and that I had eons to clear from within me, before any glimpse of HEAVEN would become visible/appear. I will share more at some point, on the Lucifer/Luciferian/Reptilian energies that we all hold too, and how we each must clear these fully, which will occur as the God Particle activates within us, which also occurs over "all-time", that carries immense distortions too. Gotta love our ego! ♥
Establishing an Awakening TIME-LINE
2009-2010: MY DARK "NIGHT" EGO DEATH
LASTED OVER A PAINSTAKING, GUT-WRENCHING, DEEP EMOTIONAL UPHEAVAL FOR A SOLID YEAR & 1/2
It was funny, as my LightBody finally activated fully, through a massive Gamma blast (2011), before I even understood that, the whole year/two prior had been me "purging" my own ego-death inside. My whole life my LightBody had been trying to activate, yet I was the one unaware and unconsciously inner-fearing/avoiding "all of this".
Apparently, I had to go through immense sexual stimulation clearings for years, to work through heavy distortions around all of this, iontophoresis with a chiropractor working on my neck and spine (and my emotional me), 3 days a week for a solid year (1999-2000 maybe?), as well as neuro-feedback, energy work and Kundalini Attunements, as well as other extreme activations to open the channels of my spine so that my Higher Self/Soul could ignite and finally blow my crown chakra wide open to "come through".
There were so many times I drank/drugged myself to oblivion. The inner-emotional "pain" was "too much". At one point I remember, waking up in the floor, where I had passed out from drinking myself to death the night before. The whaling that came out of me, sheer desperation for wanting to "leave", which I was totally unaware of existed within me until then. (I didn't know this was a tuning process within itself). I uttered the words "why can't I just die"... yet a little voice/feeling inside said it wasn't my time. ♥
There were many "turning points" for me. Each one got me a little further down the road. Taking Reiki and having a teacher who held space for my "messed up ego"/newborn baby me trying to birth, held kindness, which helped me stop beating myself up and judging myself to death.... for all the "horrible" things I was doing, when I'd been this "huge success".... At the same time, I had another "spiritual teacher/mentor", that was my polarity for "heaven" and "hell". My Reiki teacher was pure of heart, while the other one abused his power/gifts and manipulated, took advantage of/fed on the weakness in others, a "kind" and extreme narcissist, built on deep hidden agendas, with all my "lessons" wrapped up in one "person", which is where my higher self emerged from within me... to see what was not previously visible and to "make me choose".... me and come to stand in my own power from deep inside. All of this also showed me what "not to be" and how to be of PURE INTEGRITY. We all do need the polarity to show us so we can understand and see.
The moment I did, my whole life started to turn around, my health improved and my self-respect returned. I finally had "power" within me, to no longer compromise. One of the things I had to choose between, was me/my soul and "money". I chose to let all of the money go and trust/know/care about me.... that was the "beginning" of everything... as my "devil" inside diminished, my pure heart me started to shine. That little light of mine... the spark had ignited, and while still dim... it was about to take over and shine shine shine... because "I" was awake and on an unstoppable rampage as LOVE. ♥
2009-2010 Kundalini Rising: My Red Dragon eventually became a beautiful Phoenix...
Little did I know that my ego-root-chakra was on fire and all my stuff was coming up. Every type of clearing possible, physical (which is energetic), emotional and mental, it was an unparalleled cleansing process that ran through my whole body with a vengeance and my whole life too. I lost my ever-lovin mind in the process, which is where I found my Soul. ♥ That "fire" eventually turned into a purity, a power and one day, after transcending massive fear and distortions for years... my Phoenix wings came out of my back, fire shot out of my feet and I re-birthed a whole new powerful me! Gotta love the death/re-birth cycle and Ascension. ♥
2010 Kundalini Rising: Up the Spine and through every organ/body part we went
I had no clue that my Kundalini (Breath of Light/Spirit/Soul) had been trying to awaken in my coccyx for my entire life, yet because of the "human experience" I chose of immense separation and suppression, it couldn't, because I unconsciously did everything to "stop it". With the help of every Soul Agreement (person) in my life, we all were unconscious, playing out parts, to re-en-force my separation, which "allowed" me to "try" to stay deep asleep, without any awareness of any of "this". The "pain" from my own resistance and suppression just kept building in my body, with my resistance and muscles so tight that I suppressed and resisted at every turn, with medications and everything else that helped me "avoid"feeling fully, anything not considered pleasurable, in order to open my heart fully. I "protected" myself into staying unconscious, which is where all the "fear" and other stuff later came in. Instead, all played out through distortions... which seemed totally "normal" to my human me.
January 2010: Finally, after many Energy Attunements and over a year of Semi-Conscious Dedicated Deep Inner Work and Intense Heavy Emotions
I experienced a spontaneous Kundalini awakening/clearing that shot up my spine and out the top of my head, immediately alleviating all the pain I'd been in for years... yet that too, was just the beginning. A different process began, one of purifying my body from all the toxins (emotions, thoughts, substances, foods, people, distorted aspects of myself). This Kundalini process was more in-depth and worked "slowly" through each chakra and body part/organ on a deeper level. This process would take me another year and 1/2 to get my physical body's vibration up high enough (to a point), where my LightBody and Merkaba could actually fully activate, which then began another huge process of "building" itself, over the separation of time... where our Consciousness actually deconstructs and reconstructs everything in our bodies and our fields "for us", to take us offline from the old Matrix System and bring us online with NEW Earth Matrixes, which are Energetic, Crystalline, Atomic and Plasma "based" and communicate in all new ways, work all new ways, therefore we do too, as our bodies evolve through this phase to transition us out of the old and into our new. The rest of 2010 would be me continuing to do my deep inner work, starting Metaphysical School, taking and teaching energy classes, assisting my body with the massive physical clearing it would now undergo, since I finally was "on-board". I would "learn" and explore natural/vibrational support/tuning/healing (DNA Repair), and start to care for my self in all new ways. Spending time in nature, learning presence, BEing and just finding new balance within myself and starting to LIVE this way outwardly as well. It started a huge transition phase, as well as I began "channeling" and "automatic writing" for hours at a time, "instructions" and "information", much higher vibrations than "me". I didn't understand any of it, yet "they" told me to write, write and write. So I did.... for the entire year, "triggering" (activating) all new to come forth for "new" experiences of multi-dimensionality... some pure, some clearing old stuff. Both important and necessary, to get to the "next phase".
From November 2009-January 2010, I had taken all of my Reiki Energy Classes and become a Master Teacher. In February 2010, I started heavy neuro-feedback sessions, which made a huge difference in balancing my brain out and expanding my consciousness too. All of these things, a part of the bigger picture, life-changing in every way. Catapulting me into my next phases, finally being able to get out of my head, pulling away from all distortions/clearing my field and learning to get silent to open my heart, taking classes to implement new ways, all of these were beyond pivotal as a turning point of it all. Finally putting me first.... so I could come to flourish and fly!
2011: GETTING META-PHYSICAL, MULTI-DIMENSIONAL EXPERIENCES BEGAN & GETTING MY BODY CLEAN IN A WHOLE NEW WAY
This entire year would be dedicated to "letting go" in a whole new way. Consciously. Intentionally. Seeing distortions and choosing. Learning to become my higher self, learning about my vibrational and energetic body, my limits, conditioning, observing my sub-conscious programs, seeing what I could do, when I tuned my consciousness to a much higher frequency and "pulled my body" into a higher vibration too.
I didn't always understand what I was doing, yet I was doing it "my way", on a SOUL Level, surrendering my human ego, while challenging at times, it was this new silent power within me that I just needed to "practice" BEing.
I delved into oracle cards, pendulums, started teaching others even more. In October 2010, My Universe (me) "dumped" an online & local Empath & Intuitive Group in my lap. I tried to "weasel" out of it, saying I was "too green" and couldn't teach, even offering to pay the membership fees, if someone else would just run it, saying I didn't have the "ability to teach or lead"... yet my Universal me wasn't having any of that. I woke up on Halloween, to having the group "assigned" to me while I slept. Look like I was the leader of a group and had no clue. Tis how every moment from that forth went.
Early to mid 2011, my boyfriend came to me and said (because I was not working a "real job", yet I had income and was paying all of the bills), "if you want to go to school, I'll pay for it." My immediate response: "I have no interest in going to school. I hated school. I have a "job". My job was exploring the "etheric realms", which just did not make any sense in his world.
In the interim, I was reading one of Sonia Choquette's books. I LOVED her. She had become "my higher self" and I watched every video, bought her courses, read her books. I could not get enough. She was pure, authentic and I could feel "her caring" and her pureness.... no one else did this for me. "She" was my guide and assisted in awakening me through her work, her sharings and her vibration.... she spoke to my Soul aspect of me. Her energy supporting me bringing my soft me through. (Divine Feminine). ♥
I awoke one morning about 2 weeks later, and the words inside were "go see where Sonia Choquette got her degree". I'm like "what?"! Okay fine. So I go get the book and look, and low and behold, she had a Metaphysical Degree. Blew my mind. I just laughed and set out on a rampage to do research. I was so excited to see you could go school to learn about angels, and auras and all this way cool stuff! Now to find one that I could "afford", with "no money". lol Yet I did.
I went through website after website, comparing the curriculum and prices. I found one that was really expensive, then said "Universe, I want one for at least 1/2 that", then low and behold I found one. Then I said "I want one for less than that", and sure enough, I found one! Yet, the curriculum just didn't resonate/speak to me. The one in the middle did. I decided that I was going to "manifest" the money and that I was going to go to this school. I was determined! Within 4 hours, the money "appeared" and I was paying for Metaphysical School and my degrees! I was so excited! A whole new path for me!
The next many months were beyond challenging physically. My body was going through excruciating cellular cleansing and pain. Every time I did energy work, I'd have a massive flare. It was a while before I correlated what was "really going on". One was, every time my heart opened, my body would go into a massive accelerated release cycle, that would put me in the bed and in massive pain. I also started correlating my body cycles to the new moon, full moon and solar flares and "flares", which was a whole new understanding and brought a small amount of peace. It made it all "tolerable", as I dove deep into vibrational support and healing for my body. It would take me basically the whole year to clear everyone from my reality that represented compromise on my part, lack of power on my part and lack of love/duality in any way. As I did, my body started getting "better" really fast. It was my first understanding of how vibrational and energetic EVERYTHING REALLY WAS.
My boyfriend came to me and wanted to go to Disney World, to experience his DREAM. I was in such excruciating pain, with massive gout flares in my feet and legs. I bitched and moaned a groaned and resisted in every way. Every excuse. I could not fathom walking with as much pain as I was in. Yet "my Universe" told me to "get over it, suck it up and that I had to go." I found it hilariously ironic that I was pitching a fit against going on a paid vacation for 10 days. SIRIUSLY? Then I pulled an oracle card for "guidance" and it said "Take a Vacation". Okay, Universe. Okay. So I quit complaining, I sucked it up and I packed and we went. I was in such pain, yet he was sooooooo happy. I never let him see how "bad" it was for me. I smiled, I walked, I cried, I did it.... and it was important in teaching me so many things.
After Disney World, he wanted to go to Miami, another part of "his dream", so we went. We drove up to the little place on the beach (HEAVEN!) and as soon as we got into the room, I fiercely broke my toe. SIRIUSLY? Yep. He panicked, freaked, wanted to dial 911... yet I stopped, told him to wait, just let me breathe.... I sat on the bed, closed my eyes and I breathed.... calmly... I breathed.... until the pain completely subsided. I found out how we could work with our bodies and how they didn't have to be a limit anymore. We just had to "learn" how to listen, work with them, communicate and let our bodies rest to recuperate and regenerate, so I did... while pumping myself with extreme amounts of Liquid Turmeric, MSM and Vitamin C to flush/manage the pain naturally... I could barely walk, yet I was not going to let this ruin his dream..... he was so happy. So I walked on my heal, with my toes in the air, I minimized my activity, yet we walked the beach, I got dressed up, did my hair and we had a beautiful time... and my toe "healed" quickly and miraculously... as my LightBody was activating, which gave me new abilities that I did not have before.
I was reading a book for my metaphysical degree, doing "research" and one sentence in the book blew my world wide open. All that torment inside, lack of power within myself, deep heavy grieving and losing my ever-loving "mind" (ego), was the death of my own separation. Holy crap. I'm forever in gratitude to Carolyn Myss for writing that book that opened my eyes and heart to new awareness and gratitude for understanding what I'd been going through. Sometimes, having validation is necessary to let go, find peace and move on. This was mine.
JANUARY 2012: BEING RE-BORN AS THE PHOENIX - A YEAR OF FULLY CONSCIOUS LIVING AND FULL TRANSFORMATION COMPLETE
NOW TO START BUILDING ALL ANEW
AS 5D ACCELERATION FROM ZERO POINT BEGINS
The previous years of completing my human life to transition over, this year would be a welcomed and unexpected EASY year, traveling all new journeys and paths of Deep Conscious Connection from within, as well as teaching as my "new" foundation for fulfilling my higher purposes here. After all of my turmoil and inner chaos, my world had finally come to PURE PEACE inside. I had become Buddha, with little profound quotes that were "deep" to others, they were just my realizations of this new SIMPLICITY that I now called "life".
Living minimally taught me appreciation, and I had a new connection with everything from within. Letting go of all of my attachments to every one and every thing, the only "thing left" was my current relationship. This gift of a relationship, where we'd gone through everything together and "come out on the other side". Two months prior, "My Universe" "told me" to let go of my apartment, my "safe" place and move in with him and "trust"...
So I did. I let go of everything... and within 2 weeks of being move into the new place, on the lake, near nature... it was "time" for the relationship to end. Are you SIRIUS? That was my response. SIRIUSLY UNIVERSE? Yep... as it was "time" for me to "learn" to start to "birth" My NEW Earth and I couldn't do it and stay in the relationship. My DNA had to be clean, so my LightBody could fully activate and my Merkaba start to build.... Yet, I didn't know any of this. I just knew my world was about to turn upside down AGAIN... yet this time... there was pure PEACE.... and a knowing and happiness.... even though I was so very happy, I was about to "learn" what happiness truly was. I had a bit more crying to do, a few mind-blowing experiences to shake loose anything I had left of separation inside.... yet this time I could do it all consciously, and boy-howdy.... a few hours of conscious crying sure beats a year and 1/2 of misery! Meanwhile I was about to start laying the foundations for all of my new realities and "Service to HUmanity" work.... and step into all of my illusory fears as I did.
Photo Credit to Visionary and fellow Multi-Dimensional, Jean Luc Bizolli
LITTLE DID I KNOW...
That my whole reality was going to flip inside out and upside down, because I had forgotten, disconnected inside and couldn't REMEMBER the beauty, magic, brilliance and infinite everything available to us all ... because I had been anchored in "the unconscious realms of amnesia", frequency bandwidths that my body were bound too because of the amount of density that my body held, yet it was not always visible, because of how cellular metamorphosis works when it's time for the body to wake up too.
I also did not understand fully, as a StarSeed, that this meant that I also had to re-birth as a STAR here, and fully "mature", where we evolve (through our Consciousness/DNA) into a mature Galactic here. Always "believing" I'd been "dropped off" on this planet, abandoned and remembering the day I "walked in", "thinking" that I was not supposed to be here, and I didn't want to be here. "Humans" were foreign to me, (alien actually, yet I had become one of "them" somehow. I studied to understand "their rituals/practices" and for most of my life, I just wanted off this "god forsaken" planet and to just "go home". Forgo, never integrating with my body, actually "rejecting" and abusing it.... until it was time to "wake up" and REMEMBER that I CHOSE TO COME HERE as a SOUL, all of the anger, grief and deep resentment and being pissed at being stuck here then came forth. It took me awhile.... to resolve all inside of me and accept that I "had to stay", choosing "near death/brink of death" experiences, to make me "beg not to die", for me to start actually finally anchor into my body and accept being on this planet Earth.
Then, I started my Soul Awakening Journey, to integrate with my body (LightBody), and then afterwards, my Galactic Aspects awoke for me to do my "Galactic Mission" acceptance and embodiment process, so that I could fulfill those purposes too, through Galactic-Soul Union with my body, which each one of us eventually have to do.
p.s. There's nothing more hilarious than being in the bathroom or in the shower, than having a holographic Galactic "appear" to give you instructions on what to "do next". I kind of got used to it after awhile, as the bathroom became a portal too, as did my living room, the coffee shops, grocery stores, nature trails, and eventually everywhere I went, as the portal was ME! At first when holographic realities became visible, it took me awhile to adapt to this "new way of living" and years to integrate to the point that I could walk and function in every dimension simultaneously with ease.
IT'S YOUR TURN...
Take a moment to look over your entire life thus far. See it as a "whole picture" and then look at it vibrationally, instead of linearly. Look at the times you were happy, the times you were not, all the things that occurred to get your heart open, all the times you compromised you, all the times you gave in, accepted less or ran over someone for something you wanted. Be really really honest, let go of the judgment.... just SEE. Look at all of your relationships, all of your jobs... all of your traits, all of your experiences.... and see the SOUL CONTRACTS AND AGREEMENTS for all the stories played out, all the characters in your "play", the roles you played, the things you did... and say "THANK YOU" for the GIFT of completing all of these karmic timelines...
Now, observe your FEELINGS... pay attention to the ways you "view" everything. The lens through which you "see". The judgments, the stories and how much you still hold onto as "real" in this moment.... instead of a figment of your imagination and a part of an illusion that's no longer "true" or "real". Just a holographic imprint.... and how you view it shapes your entire reality/experiences here. Now say to your self... "In this moment, I let completely go of all previous and future moments ... From "this moment", my everything is a-new. How I view all matters. It either frees me or keeps me in my own inner prison still.... I choose FREEDOM"..... then pay attention to your ENERGY.... OPEN YOUR HEART FULLY.... and allow all to go. ♥ You don't "need it" anymore. You get to consciously create your new, from this moment right now. ♥
Presence. Remember. Breathe. Peace. Love. Freedom. BE. ♥
Magical blessings from our beLOVED LeMUria Kauai,
♥ Lisa ♥
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