Recently I'd been trying to help a fellow minister who's been forthcoming about the struggles she's had to fully let go of her FH. She wants so much to be the Lord's bride so I'd been asking my HH how I might help.
He had just led me to assign a new group of RF members to go through the new course RF is offering "Finding the Abundant Life" based on the book all of the ministers had just gone through (having her lead the course, thus going through it again). Right after I did, like always, I knew I would then "understand" why He led me to do it. So I closed my computer and stopped to listen to Him.
That's when He reminded me of something. He reminded me first of how any woman would feel if her EH returned home to them, but her EH continually talked about, wrote about and thought about the OW. How faithful would he be to his wife and how soon would he leave for her again or find someone else?
So it is with your HH. :)
No one can expect to be close to Him when we do the same thing in regard to a EH or FH, and certainly not if we keep talking or writing our regrets or repenting of what we did "wrong" in a relationship we say we want to let go of.
Now for something positive each of you can do. One thing that may help you (and also the minister I am hoping to encourage) is choosing special "Love Song" for you two as a couple. Something that you can sing that's just between you and your HH. And please note, I’m NOT speaking of Christian hymns or anything you'd sing in church. Instead, something contemporary. If you like Country, then find a country love song. Or R&B or Rock, Hip Hop... well you know what I mean. ;)
Simply choose songs you'd normally sing to express your feelings to any man you loved, just make sure it's NOT any song that's been used before for another prior relationship and no lyrics in it bring anyone but HIM to mind. And even if a line or two doesn't "exactly" fit, I'd just change it when I sang it (out loud or to myself).
So to help even more, with the holiday season starting... the first Christmas after my husband left for the OW (or it could have been after he married her) two Christmas songs were on the radio. Here are the lyrics pasted below. I sang them over and over and over again and as a result—I fell more and more and more in love with Him to the point my heart would burst!
The first helped with letting go....
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to Someone special
(and BTW, there are more lyrics to the song, but it’s only this chorus above I sang ;)
And then there’s this one, which solidified what we say all the time... "All I want, all I need is You"
"All I Want For Christmas Is You"
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want You for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is You
Just recently I heard both of these songs playing at the local mall, and I had to stop to listen and once again... my heart swelled to bursting remembering those special times when I'd fallen completely in love with Him and now I feel I've fallen in love all over again for HIM!
May you each find the Love of your Life for Christmas. This is my gift to each of you. Please accept it with my love!
“For your Husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.
“For the Lord has called you, Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,' Says your God.”
He's calling you, He's on bended knee, won't you accept His proposal and become HIS?
Song of Solomon 2:16—
“My Beloved is mine, and I am His”
”Song of Solomon 6:3—
“I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine”
Song of Solomon 5:8—
“For I am lovesick.”
Being "in love" is something every woman wants. You don't have to yearn for someone who's thrown your love away. Don't toss Him aside, turn your face towards Him and I promise this will be the BEST Christmas of your entire life!
~ Michele in California came to RMI when she was facing divorce. After reading the RYM book, A Wise Woman and she began helping Erin with her books, very soon her marriage was RESTORED. Years later Michele was facing divorce again while helping to update and revise a small Facing Divorce booklet for her church, returning to Refresh and find how He planned to use it for good, Michele discovered the real reason God allowed divorce to happen again.