Tonight as the full Hunter moon rises, sections of it are darkened by the outer part of the Earth’s shadow, an event known as a penumbral eclipse. As Cathy Pagano says, "A lunar eclipse can bring up the Shadow; we can act it out unconsciously or recognize and integrate it into our conscious personality and act accordingly."
This moon, more than all others through the year, is the most psychic, most mystical, most connected to other dimensions, other states of consciousness and other worlds. The veil is thin, as they say, and those of us who are sensitive (I count all who are reading this newsletter in that category) feels the thinning of the veil and the rampant energy most poignantly. And our shadow, when it comes out to rear its dark head, shrieks for attention.
We may feel almost bombarded with energy--the good, the bad and the ugly. This week, I revisited grief in a way that I hadn't in a long time. I wept and cried and felt the missing so deeply, yet, at the same time, the presence of my missed so palpably. I missed the foibles, material presence, and humanity of my dead. But I felt her Spirit as though she were comforting me in my grief. So, there was a kind of grace in this grief, because I know death is not an end, and that this grief is part of my human experience, part of what I signed up for before this life.
So much of my shadow work revolved around grieving and letting go, acceptance of this life. This week, I reached out in my grief. I took my grief into the daylight. Talked about it. Acknowledged it. Made peace that this is a normal, healthy cycle of being human. We grieve. We miss. We feel angry. We cry. A friend asked me how I deal with the grief. And I said, "I cry." There is no magic to how we deal with our shadow. I acknowledge and express it. I allow the next emotion to come.
After I reached out to a friend, she sent me a message saying that she was praying for me. And with this Moon and all this energy, I felt anger rise. Anger is so deeply tied to my grief. I didn't want prayers to shift out of those feelings, or to have them alleviated. This is part of the great experience of being human--suffering, feeling, grieving. It is part of my shadow self that I have made peace with. I accept grief. But I also accept the beautiful sentiment of my friend. She wants my suffering alleviated. This time is a time of grief and loss, and also a great finding. Let us find all our feelings, call them by their proper name, feel them, sit in them, get curious about them.
I've been talking about curiosity a great deal lately, because I think it is the key to spiritual growth. I am sharing this deeply personal shadow work, because people often have no reference to recognize when a shadow issue arises. For me, it came in a day where I wept and felt sensitive, then when anger arose out of a beautiful sentiment, and then feeling of not wanting to meet with friends, or go to a group where I feel so spiritually nourished. These are small ways, but these are all ways I want to shift out of facing who I truly am.
So often, we set intentions, work toward a beautiful goal, but at this full moon time, when shadow arises, we lose our oomph. And sometimes losing our oomph is the shadow. It comes in many ways--"I'm too busy to take time for that meeting/massage session/class/meeting/support group/therapist appointment." "It's selfish to constantly be doing things for my intention." "I'm tired of talking about my 'shadow stuff.' I just want to live." "That's not my shadow stuff, that person is just annoying me!"
Why not get curious about that?!? When you feel annoyed, write down why. When someone in traffic is pissing you off, pay attention. Are they going too slow (like everyone I was behind this week), or too fast? When someone you love calls, and you don't feel like calling her back, note why. THOSE are your shadow issues.
I know we will talk more about this at another time, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. So, send me an email at email@example.com. On Saturday, October 18, I have a table at the Psychic Wellness Expo in Runnemede, NJ. Check out the link here. I am doing tarot readings--15 minutes for $25. My sister Kellyann will be doing readings too for the same price. She is a gifted medium and channel. I'm also selling mojo bags and crystals, jewelry and other beautiful things. Come visit us. I'll also be reading Tarot at the Crystal Tree in Westmont, NJ, on Saturday, October 26 from 12-5. I am doing 20 minutes for $25. I have started a sheet with times, because I have been filling up. So if you want a session, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org