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Difficult Decisions
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One of the most difficult decisions that any family faces is making the decision about when, or if, moving a family member to assisted living is the right thing to do. As Aging Life Care™ Managers, this is often when we are called on, whether to schedule an office consult with concerned adult children to discuss options or to meet with a spouse in their home and assess whether or not their husband or wife can still be safely cared for there. It is nearly always an emotionally fraught decision. Sometimes adult children promised their parents that they would “never put them in a home,” whatever that may mean in today’s world where some skilled nursing facilities actually more closely resemble a Hilton Garden Inn with nurses, and long before being faced with the realities of a difficult diagnosis, such as Lewy Body Dementia. When I meet with couples who may have been married for 60 years or more, they are often wracked with guilt because they feel that they have in some way not fulfilled their wedding vows to care for their spouse “in sickness and in health,” promises made decades before the diagnosis of a chronic and progressive illness such as Parkinson’s Disease has begun to take its toll on the strongest of marital bonds.

I give talks on this subject at assisted living communities in our area and they are always well-attended by adult children and spouses who have the same questions for me: What are the options and how can we afford to pay for this care? More of us have long term care insurance which may cover most or even all of the cost of care, but many families are dipping into hard-earned savings, or looking to government benefits to help cover the costs. I recently met with a brother and sister who live in this area and were concerned about their parents who live in Florida. They began trying to look at different communities on their own and quickly realized that they needed the guidance of an Aging Life Care Manager to help them understand the alphabet soup of categories of care that their aging parents might need. As members of the Aging Life Care Association (ALCA), we do not have a financial relationship with any community or resource that we refer our clients to, and our recommendations are based on our clients’ needs and our experience in the geographic area we serve.

To use the “Smith” family as an example, mom is age 85 and takes a few medications for chronic conditions such as hypertension and thyroid imbalance, but has had noticeable memory loss for the last several years. Dad, 89, also has some memory issues, but has also recently been diagnosed with congestive heart failure, including a hospitalization to treat that condition. Mom and Dad are both happy in Florida and have some extended family there, as well as many friends and activities they enjoy, although both of their adult children live here. “Don” and “Amy” wanted to know if they should continue to travel back and forth to Florida to deal with intermittent health crises such as their dad’s recent hospitalization, or, whether it would be better to bring their parents closer to them here. continue reading ...
Special Contribution By Susy Elder Murphy, BA, CMC
Owner, Debra Levy Eldercare Associates

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"Without question, CCN was key to our family's ability to care for my Mother at home. We cycled through at least 5 agencies before CCN, and honestly, I had given up hope that we could find a reliable agency with quality aides. CCN proved me wrong. Our care coordinator, Bess Muffley, took the time to understand our needs, and immediately and openly addressed any concerns we had. We never had an issue with aides not showing up, even during inclement weather. The CCN aides, themselves, are far better trained than any of the other agencies with which we had worked. The aides are also kind, and considerate, and exhibit a level of compassion that one would only expect from a family member. Gladys, Angela, Virginie, and others - they are true angels. To all the staff at CCN, thank you for helping us through a very difficult time."

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We provide the best care available to clients and families with varying needs. Our team of nurses, nursing assistants, and care providers offers the following services:
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Capital City Nurses serves the greater Washington, Northern Virginia, Baltimore and Annapolis areas including the Eastern Shore of Maryland, and Delaware. We work with your schedule and come to you, wherever you are.

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