Overheard At The Store »»
COLBY: Oh, hello, Alice.
ALICE: Hello, marmot. How are you today?
COLBY: I’m, uh, I’m fine. I think. Maybe. Though, well, maybe not. There’s just—ah, well—
ALICE: You look like you have something on your mind, marmot.
COLBY: What? Me? No. no. no. Nothing on my mind.
ALICE: Is there something perplexing you?
COLBY: No, I’m entirely un-plexed.
COLBY: Perfectly unvexed.
ALICE: You’re not bothered by the sign board down the road that spells “chili” with two ‘l’s? Twice?
COLBY: Oh, that’s no good. That’s no good at all. I should go down there and fix that.
ALICE: You should, and when you come back, you can tell me what’s really bothering you.
COLBY: Nothing is—okay, fine. Yes, there is something amiss.
ALICE: Amiss? This sounds ominous.
COLBY: It’s not. Or maybe it is. I don’t know. I’m not qualified, actually, to talk about it.
ALICE: And yet, here you are, doing your very best to talk all about it without actually saying what ‘it’ is.
COLBY: <sigh> Really. I shouldn’t say anything.
ALICE: We’re past that point, marmot. Spit it out.
COLBY: It’s Bob.
ALICE: What about Bob?
COLBY: He’s been in recently.
ALICE: And why wouldn’t he? It’s a lovely store.
COLBY: More than normal.
ALICE: Who can tell what constitutes normal with that man.
COLBY: Like, every day.
ALICE: And it is your company that he finds such a draw?
COLBY: Uh, I really don’t think I should say. I mean, that would be telling on Bob, and—uh—I shouldn’t do that. He might be angry with me.
ALICE: And what do you think he would do if he got angry?
COLBY: He might threaten to turn me into a hat.
ALICE: He does do that, doesn’t he?
COLBY: He does.
ALICE: Well, do you know the difference between what he’ll do and what I’ll do?
COLBY: Uh, no. What?
ALICE: You’ll still be alive when I turn you into a hat.
ALICE: See? That’s wasn’t so hard to say now, was it?
COLBY: No, no.
ALICE: And can I assume that the running together of those three words in indicative of a physical proximity between these two?
COLBY: Um . . .
ALICE: I might put a feather in your rump. When I make you into a hat.
COLBY: Okay, okay! Yes, Bob and Ferdie. I think they’re—
ALICE: Having lunch together?
COLBY: I really have said too much.
ALICE: It’s too late now, marmot . . .