Overheard At The Store »»
FERDIE: Oh, hello, Bob. It’s nice to see you today.
BOB: Uh, thanks, uh . . .
BOB: Uh, yeah. Ferdie. Nice to see you too. Are those, uh, are those new glasses?
FERDIE: No. They’re the same ones I had last year.
BOB: Oh. Well, maybe it’s the light in here then.
BOB: Yeah. That’s probably it. It’s not, hmmm, is that grapefruit I smell?
FERDIE: Excuse me?
BOB: Grapefruit. And vanilla. Maybe a hint of cocoa. Is that marmot up to something in the back?
FERDIE: Who, Colby? [Laughs] No, I don’t, uh, I don’t think that is Colby.
BOB: Oh. Hmm. Well, good. It’s nice. Whatever it is. I wouldn’t want to have to tell him that.
FERDIE: I won’t tell.
BOB: Tell what?
FERDIE: Your secret.
BOB: Do I have a secret?
FERDIE: It seems you might.
BOB: Well, maybe you should tell me what it is.
FERDIE: I think you know.
BOB: I do?
FERDIE: Oh, Bob. You’re charming.
BOB: I am?
FERDIE: What sort of book can I help you find today, o charming man?
BOB: I need something for a dinner party. You know, kind of like a coffee table book, but not really heavy. Something you can read while you’re . . . uh, something small, perhaps.
FERDIE: Something that fits easily into your pocket, maybe?
BOB: Yeah. Something like that.
FERDIE: Coat or pants?
BOB: Excuse me?
FERDIE: Which pocket would you like me to slip a book into?
BOB: Oh, uh, coat pocket. That’d be fine.
FERDIE: Oh, are you sure?
BOB: Yeah, that’ll do.
FERDIE: Well, let me go look and see what we have. Wait right here, charming man.
BOB: Oh, okay.
BOB: What? Why are you hiding up there, marmot?
COLBY: Oh my god. I can’t believe this.
COLBY: She’s flirting with you. And you’re flirting back.
BOB: That’s ridiculous, marmot.
COLBY: Is it?
FERDIE: Oh, okay, here we go. I have a couple of choices for you. Would you like me to see how well they fit into your pocket?
BOB: Uh, no. Let me look at them first. You can, uh, you can put them on the counter.
FERDIE: I don’t mind holding them.
BOB: I, uh, that’s—oh, it’s you.
FERDIE: Yes, it is me.
BOB: No, I mean. The grapefruit. And vanilla.
FERDIE: [Laughs] Oh, yes, I guess it must be.
BOB: Not that I’m smelling you or anything.
FERDIE: No. No, of course not.
BOB: I’m just looking at these books.
FERDIE: They’re nice books.
BOB: They are . . .
COLBY: [Distantly] Noooo . . . .