Wake to Washington

into riddles and/or Tim Heidecker? scroll to our Saturday events

Successful campaigns are striving to get vital media attention in preparation for this election season. Take a look at some of the statistics that helped boost candidates in the final weeks of the 2020 election. Read more.


Love getting yelled at? Become the WMATA general manager

Randy Clarke, WMATA’s new big boss, spent Monday night at L'Enfant Plaza listening to riders’ concerns such as long waits between trains (true), broken escalators (the worst), fare evaders (no one said that Mr. Clarke), and poorly-designed fare machines (fair). Getting the 7000-series trains back will be a big lift, but Clarke also faces adapting to new commuting habits (only 42% of peak-fare rail rides have returned) and a plethora of issues such as sustainability, equity, and for the love of god please make it so the green line arrives more than every 25 minutes.



It’s been an especially depressing month for bike and pedestrian safety: We haven’t been able to plan memorials before another crash added a name to the list. It’s clear that something needs to change—and keeping cars out of bike lanes would be a start. NYC is considering a bill that would unleash auto-ticketing cameras to catch drivers parking there. A sign that could be helpful here too: An app launched in Arlington (lacking any enforcement authority) captured 9,500 cars blocking bike lanes in just a week, surprising no one who gets around the DMV via two wheels. 


Much ado about bargaining? Labor's love lost? Out, damn unionbusters! 

The production staff at the Shakespeare Theater Company filed to unionize Monday, citing dangerous working conditions, mass layoffs during the pandemic, and low wages. This is a big step in the DC theater scene: Most large workplaces (like the Kennedy Center) are unionized, but many smaller ones are not. 


McDuffie gets by with a little help from his friends

After getting booted from the attorney general’s race, Ward 5 Councilmember Kenyan McDuffie launched a campaign for an independent at-large DC council seat. In doing so, he forfeited a substantial amount of public funds he received for his AG bid and must start from scratch; this time, he has help from conservative lobbyist David Carmen.


Also || Guess our spot on the list of the most expensive cities for renters, vote to decide the Washington Commanders’ new theme song, or whatever you call a song for a sports team, DC’s new one-dose strategy for monkeypox, RIP to ”a triumph of culinary kid logic” (your move, Elle)

Appreciate what we do? Support us on Patreon.

Emergency & You

Wednesday July 27

  • The Super Spectacular Comedy Show for Gun Violence Prevention brings some of DC’s funniest comedians together to fundraise for a good cause. (7pm)
  • Can you catch a liar? (My answer is probably no since I believed my landlord when he said he’d fix my doorknob in less than a week). Four comedians tell a story, three are true, one is a lie! (7pm)

Kayak for a cause!
Kayak isn't just a fun word that is spelled the same way forward and backwards. Kayak. kayak. Kayak on the river and pick up litter at Four Mile Run Park! (

Also || tunes: scandinavian meets klezmer, tunes: Laura Veirs (incredible songwriter), Black feminist solidarity, BLM archiving, tarot, tunes: Ricky Hil (Tommy Hilfiger’s son???), comedy, shooting stars but not the bag raiders song


Thursday July 28


Off base: climate changeup
Instead of getting drunk and watching
a group of republicans who probably voted against gay marriage and a woman’s right to choose ... shut down the Congressional Baseball Game with WV rising. 


Night Alley! Like Diagon Alley, but not created by a transphobe

After a two-year hiatus, Night Alley is back at Jailbreak Brewery. Local star chefs, delicious beer, and DJs will make this a free night you don’t want to miss. (7pm)


Also || tunes: Iron & Wine, Andrew Bird even if you can’t go to the concert please listen to ‘pulaski at night’, tunes: Sensor Ghost, Fun Fair, tunes: Mellow Swells, fashion on film, guided walking tour of U Street, sauf house turns 8 years old and wild i didn’t get free tickets there after all the vibes i bring there, visit dunder mifflin


Friday July 29


Whiskey, whiskey, wherefore art thou, whiskey?

Deny thy vodka, and forget thy gin or if thou wilt not…I don't remeMber the rest. Anyway, come to Drunk Shakespeare at the Sage Theater. (7pm and 9pm)


The North Country album release

This local favorite is celebrating their new album with a show at DC with Toebow and The House You Grew Up In, bringing you soulful indie psychedelia to drink a wArm beer to. The single makes me feel like a little piece of oatmeal flying around the dishwasher in slo-mo. Wash me away, North Country. (7:30pm)


Also || ballpark shabbat, Rent! (Baltimore), vinyl DJ at Wild Days, IAN SWEET, Park Fridays, Star Wars in concert, weekend blues, usually I just laugh for free at my life, but you can laugh at real comedians for free in AdMo


Saturday July 30


Come to our birthday party?

It’s been too long! This year we’re at Metrobar, with food from the Mechitrachos truck, tunes, crafts, cornhole, the works. We'll share more about our impending Friendship Lab™ and preview brand new merCh! Bring friends or plan to make some there (or both?) and have a silly goofy time with us. (1-5pm)


You can Kiss my ace!

Come watch some of tennis’ rising stars (and current stars) in the DC Citi Open’s first day! There are games every day through August 7th, with top players like Andy Murray, Jessica Pegula, and Azarenka. (10am on


Tim and Eric minus Eric

Tim Heidecker is coming to DC and we have free tickets to give away to some lucky readers. Above, five misplaced capital letters form a word that is used to describe a group of random animals. The first one of y’all to reply to this email with the type of animal this word describes a group of (ex. dazzle of zebras) wins the tickets. If you don’t want to do all that, just get yourself a ticket! (7pm)


Also || dance: Aru Dellarte, history: Douglass in Baltimore, SAAM Arcade, comedy karaoke trivia show, AAPI-owned food tour, comedy house show, Fort Dupont Park turns 50, with Be'la Dona, Sirius Company, Soul Searchers, DJ Rico; Silent Disco


Sunday July 31


Do the ocean a little favor

Join Surfrider DC for a trash cleanup around the Tidal Basin so all those poor tourists who jump in for a cool dip don’t have to deal with trash (ew!) along with generations of goose poop (aw!). Trash bags, grabbers, and gloves provided. (11am)


Why can’t you just find yourself…

…a Mr. Nice Jewish Boy?? Lucky for you the pageant is back, with a showcase of talent from four star contestants. Hosted by drag queen Venus Valhalla and benefiting an LGBT Jewish org, the prize is $$$ at Pitchers and Floriana so you know competition will be fierce. (4pm)


Also || tunes: Blake Mills, poetry @ Rhizome + even more local poetry, Georgetown mural tour with local Dwane Starling, Caribbean Music and Food Festival 


Monday August 1


Carivaggio, the cursed painter!

Sad because you’re cursed by a troll living in your neighborhood and the DC wizard council won’t help? Well, you’re still not as cursed as Carivaggio. Learn more about the painter in a Smithsonian lecture series. (12pm)


Trivia Mondays

I have some trivia for y’all: What is the worst day of the week to find an event? It’s Monday. The Answer is Monday. Anyway, attend trivia at Wunder Garten or trivia at Wonderland or trivia at Franklin Hall or trivia at Tap99


Also || GLAA potluck, tunes: Nouvelle Vague, For Reno summer concert series continues with Sparklebot, Continuals, and Bed Maker, Avalon, what time is it at? we don’t know, what is avalon? we don’t know, but it was online so we are going to advertise it goshdarnit


Tuesday August 2


Night Out for Safety

The Night Out for Safety and Liberation is an annual counter-event to the National Night Out (DC) focusing on non-policing interventions to issues of public safety. This event will be outdoors, open to families, and free. (4pm)


Sign up for fall sports teams

As a bunch of pencil-pushing nerds, we think DC Fray should have a league where everyone signs an affidavit that they’ve never played a sport before just so we’re all on the same page. But until then, you sporty types shouldn’t miss the chance to play ball! (all day)

Also || karaoke tuesday, and another karaoke tuesday why is everyone doing karaoke on tuesday, Irish Inn Mates, comedy on U street, Ukrainian Art Offensive

plan ahead // see future events at // tell us about your events at

Today's newsletter is by:
Abby Williams, Nina Kanakarajavelu, Hayden Higgins, Lily Strelich
supported by you on Patreon
sponsored by Quorum
Branding and design by Composite Co.
Copyright © 2022 730DC, All rights reserved.