Power with Heart News - June/July 2014
Right Use of Power Institute

Right Use of Power

power with heart news

June/July 2014

Dear <<First Name>>!

Greetings and blessings of summer in the Northern Hemisphere and winter in the Southern Hemisphere!
I have recently discovered that many of you have not been receiving this Newsletter for some months. So if you are receiving this for the first time, welcome, and sorry that it has taken so long.
We've been working very hard and are happy to let you know, or remind you about a few new things:

Note: Try clicking "View it in your browser" link at the top of the email (above the header image). You will be able to translate the newsletter into various languages, share through Facebook, etc.

 1. Our redesigned websites are now up.  Check them out at; and  Note the shift to .org from .com and the separation of the RUPI website from Cedar Barstow's website.

2. Ren and Cedar's book about right use of power for everyone:  Living in the Power Zone is now an e-book!  Find it here.

3. A new section of the website directs you to a world map where you can find RUP teachers.  Another new section called Specialty Programs provides information about special programs offered by Guild Members.

In this issue you will find:

Earn CEUs at Home

Featured Mini-Course:
Personal Power

CE Hours =1.5

Learn more about your personal power and how to separate and integrate it with your professional power.  Discover your particular power style.  Reflect on the source of power and cultural messages about power.  Find out about four dimensions and four parameters of power.
There are many other CEU Mini-Courses that you can browse online.

Workshops & Trainings

North Carolina

Right Use of Power Workshop:
July 20, 2014

Presented by Julia Corley


Boulder, Colorado

Right Use of Power Workshop:
October 4-5, 2014 (Saturday/Sunday)

Facilitator's Training:
October 6-7, 2014

Presented by Cedar Barstow, M.Ed., C.H.T.

Contact: Cedar Barstow
Advance Notice and Special Discounts to first 8 who register!
Tuition:  $225 for Workshop October 4-5 only  
Special Discount for first 8 people who register for Boulder program:  $175! 

$475 for Facilitator Training October 4-7
Special Discount = $400 for all four days
Reminder to Guild Members that you can re-take the training(s) for 50% discount at any time!  Great way to update your skills and increase your confidence. Just register and make the $100 deposit at


$100 (refundable less $25 fee)
check to:
           Cedar Barstow,
           1485 Sumac Ave.,
           Boulder, CO 80304

Featured Guild Member

 by Vinay Gunther

Vinay is a multi-talented master teacher, psychotherapist, and group leader.  He lives in Australia, and teaches frequently in California and Asia.  Here Vinay talks about his Unvirtues program.  We explored this a bit in the last RUP workshop in Boulder.

Ethics are at the heart of RUP, both as an ethos, and in terms of way we teach and (try to) practice using power well. The bigger picture though is that as much as we might try to modulate our self interest it has a way of entering into relationships, sometimes sneakily. Ironically, the more people are dedicated to being consciously ethical, the more that self interest can go underground, masked by good intentions and sincere attempts to be virtuous.

Enter the Unvirtues. This is not about encouraging unvirtous behaviour, but about recognising the parts of ourselves which do in fact act out of self interest, despite our best efforts. In working with the Unvirtues, we are suggesting the importance of ownership of our greedy, mean, manipulative selves. Better upfront than disowned - and therefore more dangerous.

Its very hard to recognise your Unvirtues, especially at the time when you are actually doing them. Its natural to be defensive when they are pointed out. Its easy to provide many ‘reasons’ for the way we act, diminish our ill-intent, or emphasize our noble intentions. By introducing this topic, our aim is to de-shame the Unvirtues, making it easier for people to recognize and claim those aspects of self
Whilst this is very challenging, the response from others is often surprising. Rather than being offended by such ownership they are generally relieved. We have an inherent ability to recognize when someone else is acting out of self interest. So by owning the worst in us, we create more safety, honesty, and a more skilful management of power differentials

See more at our website:
Contact Vinay at; 

Sketches from a Pilgrimage:

by Chriss Hoffman

Here's an excerpt from a new
poem about the Camino de Santiago by my favorite poet, Chriss Hoffman:

The footsteps of today's walkers
follow the ghosts of a thousand years.
All these pilgrims
walking in the same direction
form a braid of stories, hopes, and dedications--
meeting, parting, meeting once again
over distances and days.
The friendships and aversions of a lifetime
reveal themselves in merely weeks of walking.
Seeing and being seen
by an unknown brother, sister from another land--
Are you that?  I am that too. 
Chris generously makes the entire poem available as a chapbook that can be downloaded for FREE from his website. There is a link to the download from the home page (, or you can go directly to the download at:

Wailing Wall in Sapphire Canyon, Colorado

The Power of Lamenting: An Alternative to Numbness and Rage

By Cedar Barstow

Here are a couple of questions for you. What happens inside you when you read or listen to the daily litany of abuse of power, suffering, injustice, murder, war, and destruction of the earth? What do you do when someone close to you has been hurt by unethical actions?

Asking around, these are the things I’ve heard.

“I just get numb because I don’t think I could bear the amount of pain I would feel.”

“Well, I get mad at the news companies because they just seem to look for the bad stuff and don’t give us a balance. There’s good stuff happening too, but I guess that doesn’t sell.”

“I find I can’t see violent movies anymore even if they are Academy Award winners. Hurts too much.”

“I glaze over so I can subdue my feelings.”

“I feel so upset and helpless that it turns to hopelessness. When it’s hopeless, I disempower myself because there’s nothing useful I can do anyway, so why bother?”

“When something gets to me, I can’t sleep at night.”

“I feel disappointed in people. We know better than what we do.”

“I just don’t read the paper or listen to the news anymore. I don’t want to support this kind of newscasting.”

“I try to offset the bad news with looking at the bright side. I think I do this too quickly in an effort to avoid feeling bad.”

Do any or many of these responses feel familiar to you? Anything you want to add?

Of course, how we deal with human suffering is one of the universal core life questions that each of us must find an answer to. This question has two dimensions—how will you BE with suffering and what will you DO about it? This article speaks to the kinds of inner doing that can help you be with terrible and disturbing things.

Read the rest of the article here

Questions for Ethical Discernment

by Jan Dewlan and Sarah Hartzell

These questions were designed for volunteers who work with homeless women however they could be well-used by other groups.  Please use and adapt.

Step One:  Discernment
  • How did the idea for this action arise?
  • Whose idea was it?  Did a woman ask for this particular service?
  • Why are you needed in this situation?  Is this something the woman could do for herself?
  • Is it an emergency need?
  • Is it a need that could be met by an existing service provider?
  • Is it in compliance with good boundaries? 
  • Am I aware of my role, status, and personal power and how it affects what I do?
  • How might my action help this woman move toward self sufficiency?
  • Whose needs am I meeting by doing this?  Theirs or mine?
  • What are the risk factors or liability issues to consider? Could someone get hurt? Could your helpful intent be interpreted as harmful in its impact?
  • Is it something you envision continuing for a time?
  • How might this action reflect on the group as a whole?
Step Two:  Consultation
  • Now bring this idea to the leadership group for discussion and input.
    • If the consensus of the group is “no”, can I act in agreement with it?
    • If the consensus of the group is “yes”, what will I do to keep the group informed and supportive?
Step Three:  Implementation
  • Do I have clear role, status, and personal boundaries and ways of communicating them?
  • What agreement will you make with the woman about how the terms of your assistance?
  • How will I care for myself to avoid stress, burnout, and misuse of power?

The Employer's Creed

Article by David Brooks

As David Brooks describes it in his interesting article, the hiring process deeply impacts the kind of people we have in our society. A little healthy bias in decision-making might cultivate deeper, fuller human beings.  Read the article to find out what this healthy bias could be.  


The Neurochemistry of Power

by Stephanie Halloway, RUPI Guild Member

Here's a link to a fascinating article about power and the brain.  It was contributed by RUPI Guild Member, Stephanie Holloway in the UK. 

Read the article here
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