Power with Heart News - February 2016
Right Use of Power Institute

Right Use of Power

power with heart news

February 2016

Dear <<First Name>>!

Reviewing the year at Right Use of Power Institute, we want to thank our Board of Directors, our Guild Members, our Patrons, and our supporters--both energetic and financial.  We are happy to report that as a result of our first fundraiser, we ended the year in good financial shape.  This year we created a platform for webinars and video conferencing, trained more Right Use of Power Teachers,  published the 10th Anniversary Edition of Cedar's Right Use of Power: The Heart of Ethics, created new on-line continuing education courses, and developed more expertise and experience in using RUP for consulting.  Our next major event is the first ever RUP Advanced Teacher Training that will be co-facilitated by Cedar, Amanda, and Magi in March.  

2015 Annual Report

Note: Try clicking "View it in your browser" link at the top of the email (above the header image). You will be able to translate the newsletter into various languages, share through Facebook, etc.

In this issue you will find:


We are very happy to invite you to take the NEW continuing education courses.
We were officially approved by the National Board for Certified Counselors to offer CE credits on February 18th, 2016!  This is the completion of a long process.
These new courses are based on the 10th Anniversary Edition of the Right Use of Power: The Heart of Ethics.  They are now completely on-line.  You can down-load all the material from the book or you can read the assigned pages in your own paper copy of the book.  The assessment questions are also on-line and your certificate can be printed out as well!  

There are six 3 CE hour courses:  Overview Course (1 CE hour)--Power with Heart; Dimension 1--Be Informed and Present, the Guided use of power; Dimension 2--Be compassionate and Aware, the Conscious use of power; Dimension 3--Be Connected and Accountable, the Responsible use of power; Dimension 4--Be Skillful and Proactive, the wise use of power; Course 5:  The More Dimension-- Refining your Personal Impact and Becoming Ethically Proactive. There is enough new material that you can take the courses again!  Try it out!.

Find out more about the E-courses here.

Workshops & Trainings


Boulder, Colorado

Advanced Teacher Training
March 11-14, 2016

Presented by Cedar Barstow
Find out more and apply here

Boulder, Colorado

Right Use of Power Workshop & Teacher Training
July 16 - 19, 2016

Presented by Cedar Barstow
Register Here


Featured RUP Teacher

Our Guild Member of the month is John Guzzo.  He is a Certified Hakomi Therapist living in Boulder.   He has served for a number of years as a member of the Hakomi International Ethics Committee. 
In an interview with him about how RUP influences his work, he shared a story about his work with a man who was finishing a two-year probation charge for assault.  He came to see John as a therapist to work on anger management.  John's words now.  "On the phone he sounded like a confused, lost, scared boy.  When he walked into the office, he looked like a bad-ass tough guy.  Surprisingly, I felt comfort in my nervous system.  This guy would have your back in the end.  I could feel his heart.  This really struck me.   He described pushing his girlfriend.  She had called the police.  He felt really scared because he didn't want to lose her.   He had thought that he had gotten himself together so that this wouldn't happen anymore.  He talked about his family.  Lots of abuse from his stepfather.  He learned to defend himself through martial arts and vowed not to cause harm.  And yet he had once again caused harm. 
About 30 minutes into the session, he said,  'I really need your help.'   On an intuition, I asked him if I could check something out with him.  I said, 'you don't know me.  I don't feel like I have earned your trust yet.  You've got a lot on the line.'  After some silence, he replied.  'Yes, the bottom line is that I don't really trust you.' Thank you for your honesty.  Here's a question for you.  Is there anyone in your life that really represents trust?  'Well, my uncle Joe.'  So, could we imagine Uncle Joe here with us right now?  What might he have said?  'Uncle Joe would have said, you know boy, you really didn't fuck up that bad this time.  So just get yourself together and move on from here.'  Looking at me his voice softened.  I said, so taking in those words, what might it mean in terms of how you approach your girlfriend?  He felt like he could apologize again to his girlfriend and really mean it.  In the following sessions, he worked things out with his girlfriend and we worked on anger management.  However, this was a moment of honesty with trust and with shame.

Since taking the RUP training, I have become more aware and alert for the signs and indicators of shame.  There were plenty of them here.  I felt that bringing in a memory of someone whom he trusted made it possible to come enough out of shame to believe he could move on from this.
In addition to the work with shame, my RUP training has given me guidance in using my role power to uphold dignity for myself and the people I serve by keeping my awareness of the 150% principle."  (Both people in the relationship are 100% responsible for the health of the relationship, but the person in the up-power role has greater responsibility--150%.)

Perils of Power

by Cedar Barstow

"I feel like I am not listened to and that what I say doesn't count." "I feel humiliated for speaking up." "I'm afraid of losing my job if I am critical." "I'm expected to take care of things that are not my responsibility."  "I feel used and taken advantage of."  "My supervisor can't change.  It's just the way it is, and I have to accept it."  "It's hopeless!  I've tried, and nothing changes."  "Every time I do the right thing, it feels like I get punished."  "I can't believe my boss doesn't get how we feel about him and what kind of harm he's causing."  "My therapist says she wants all kinds of feedback, but when I give her negative feedback, she just turns it around on me."  "My feelings and opinions just aren't taken seriously."  "It's just not safe."  "It's really unjust, but it is more peaceful to just let it go." "I feel like it is just hopeless to have an effect, so I don't invest myself."  "I can't believe it.  She just said no.  And she's my friend."  "He's always too busy."  "There's no acknowledgement, no follow-up from what I say."  "She must be right."
These are feelings and experiences frequently expressed by people when they are in what I call a down-power role.    Clients, students, supervisees, employees, patients, and parishioners, among others, are in roles that have less power and influence than their up-power therapists, teachers, supervisors, employers, doctors, and clergy.  This greater power is an automatic accompaniment to professional or positional power and, in fact, is embedded in the up-power role.  Role power is earned or assigned.  Role power is an add-on to the personal power that we all have and need in our lives.  Think of it like a scarf or mantle of additional power and responsibility that one puts on when one is in an up-power role.  Often without recognizing it, we may move between up- and down-power roles multiple times in a day.  At the dentist we are down-power.  As a teacher, we are up-power.  With a policeman, we are down-power. This power difference, although it has vital functional and emotional value, creates relational dynamics that, when misused, are reflected in the statements above.

Read the rest of the article here.

Attitude Shifts

In using your role power wisely and skillfully, here are a few attitude shifts to try on.  - Cedar

  • bringing more being to the doing
  • from figuring it out to being curious
  • from leading questions to following questions
  • from why to how or what
  • from talking about to being with what is
  • from being busy to being mindful
  • from trying to trusting
  • from interpreting to noticing
  • from fixing first to accepting first
  • from proving to offering
  • from pushing to collaborating
  • from explaining to exploring
  • from efforting to being there

Martha Postlewaite

Do not try to save the whole world or do anything grandiose.
Instead, create a clearing in the dense forest of your life
and wait there patiently,
until the song that is your life
falls into your own cupped hands
and you recognize and greet it.
Only then will you know how to give yourself
to this world
so worthy of rescue.

RUPI's Mission

The mission of the nonprofit Right Use of Power Institute (RUPI) is to assist in creating a global culture of peace through vital education in the right use of personal, professional, status, and collective power.  Right uses of power are relationship actions and attitudes that prevent and heal harm, and promote conflict resolution and empowerment for the common good.

To accomplish this mission, we develop and provide programs that teach practical, inspirational, and engaging practices for wise use of power with both strength and heart.  We train and support facilitators to work with organizations and individuals—children, adults, and professionals—in a variety of fields all over the world.  We maintain a website and sell relevant books and e-courses, and offer a newsletter, blog posts, material and information as well as guidance and consulting services to help people and organizations use their individual and positional power with wisdom, compassion, sensitivity, and skill.
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