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In this issue:

  1. New Portland Office Now Open
  2. Couples and Difficult Conversations
  3. Making Friends: Tips for Adults
  4. Clinician's Wanted
  5. Our Annual Retreat

Appointments Available 
Call or TEXT us at
(541) 868-2004

for Portland, Eugene & Corvallis Appointments

New Portland Office


We're pleased to announce our new office in SE Portland.  

We are open now. Please call us at 503-928-3998 for counseling appointments in Portland.

(We now have three locations: Eugene, Corvallis and SE Portland)



Our new office is located at 10011 SE Division Street Suite 202 Portland OR 97266.

Text or call us at 541-868-2004 to speak with an Intake Therapist.

How to Talk to Your Partner about Difficult Subjects​

 
Image result for difficult conversation

In any relationship there are times when you and your partner will need to talk about difficult subjects. The ability to discuss complex and controversial issues is a sign of a healthy relationship, but that doesn’t always mean it's easy. Here are some tips for having those difficult conversations and to strengthen and support your relationship.

Set expectations

Before you go into a tricky conversation, identify what you’re hoping to accomplish. Make sure that your expectations are mutually beneficial and allow room for differences. Prepare yourself by resisting any urge to criticize and remind yourself that the problem can exist without there necessarily needing to be a "bad guy/gal". Additionally, a goal of proving to your partner that your point of view is correct is likely to end in hurt feelings and resentment for both of you, while an expectation of (for instance) identifying areas of overspending and developing a better budget is a goal you can both work towards together. 

Prepare both sides

Chances are that you’ve been thinking about this conversation for a while, so allow your partner the same benefit. Let them know ahead of time what you’d like to talk about, and set a time so they can organize their thoughts, come up with ideas, and be prepared to discuss the topic. When asking them to prepare, be sure it’s a request, not a demand.

Be positive and honest

Although you want to be honest when talking to your partner about difficult subjects, try to keep it positive too. An easy way to start your conversation off on the right foot is to express appreciation to your partner for taking the time to discuss this topic with you. Express that the subject is important to you and has been weighing on your mind, and thank them for their willingness to talk it through together.

Be calm and respectful

The issue you want to talk about may be causing strong negative feelings, so recognize that and take steps to keep those feelings under control. Pay attention to your voice and body language, and if you feel the conversation starting to get heated, acknowledge it out loud. Say something like, “I realize I’m getting upset. This is just something I feel really strongly about.” Recognizing when things are escalating can help both you and your partner to tone things down before they get out of hand.

Listen

Express your feelings openly and honestly, but encourage your partner to do the same. Try to keep an open mind and accept that it’s okay for the two of you to feel differently about things. Never interrupt your partner when they’re talking. Show your partner that you’re paying attention to what they have to say by making eye contact, and once they’ve expressed their view make sure that you understand it. One way to do this is to repeat what you heard them say. “So, as I understand it, what you’re saying is…” and then summarize what they said in your own words. “Is that right?”

Stay on topic

This is not the time to bring up old grievances, make accusations, or drag other topics into the conversation. Be strict about keeping the talk on the subject at hand and not wandering into other issues. Help your partner to do the same by respectfully getting the conversation back on track if they begin to bring up other issues. Keep your expectations in mind and table anything that isn’t going to help you meet the goals you and your partner have for this conversation.

Set a goal or make an agreement

As you talk, make it clear that you want to reach a resolution of some kind. Work together to set a goal or come to an agreement about how you can move forward on this issue.

Be accountable to each other

Few conflicts are resolved by a single conversation. After you’ve put your plan of action into effect, come together often to see how it’s working and if it’s helping you to reach your goal. Don’t be afraid to open the discussion again and adjust your plan.

Talking to your partner about difficult subjects is a natural part of your relationship, and can help both of you to work together, strengthen your relationship, and communicate more effectively. By following these tips, you can approach hard topics with greater confidence that you and your partner can learn to manage or resolve issues and move forward.

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Text or call us at 541-868-2004 to speak with an Intake Therapist.

How to Make Friends as an Adult

 
Image result for adult friends
Friendship is linked to a host of mental and physical health benefits, including reduced stress, greater self-esteem, and longer life expectancy. During childhood and youth, making friends may seem more natural than in adulthood: playing and “hanging out” are societal expectations for youth. As we become adults, societal expectations shift, and responsibilities like careers and financial obligations take precedence. American adults as a group have been reporting fewer and fewer close friendships over the last 30 years, but the need for close friendships is perhaps greater than it has ever been, as evidenced by rising reports of depression and loneliness. Investing in friendship may be one of the most important things you can do for your health and happiness. But how do you make friends as an adult?


Strengthen Established Connections

Most of us have a social network in place already. Look around at your acquaintances, coworkers, the parents of your children—is there anyone you enjoy being with and would like to know better? We sometimes forget that as children and youth, we became friends with people largely because there was already some type of connection: we were in the same class, played on the same sports team, lived next door to each other, or our parents were friends. The same principle holds true for adults. If there are people with whom you already have some connection through work, a shared hobby, or an old friendship that needs to be rekindled, the groundwork is already laid.

 

Get Involved

Maybe you’ve identified someone you’d like to establish a friendship with, or maybe you’re at a loss to come up with anyone you’re interested in getting to know better. In either case, getting involved can help you to make friends. If there is someone within your social network that you can see yourself being friends with, reach out to them. Send them a text, offer to buy them coffee, or invite them to an event. If your social circle is small or you are struggling to identify someone you could be friends with, consider expanding your network by joining a group, taking a class, or just getting out of the house more. Your first steps don’t have to be huge, and you don’t have to make any serious commitments if you don’t want to. Just practice chatting, listening, and getting to know people.

 

Open Up

The hardest part of making friends as an adult may be opening up to others and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. It’s a difficult step, but one that must be taken if a close relationship is to grow. Friendships are founded on trust, and both parties need to feel safe being themselves. You can take this step as gradually as you need.  There’s no need to share your deepest, darkest secrets just yet, but tell your new friend something that opens you up, at least a little, to their judgement. Your friend may invite you to do this by sharing something like this themselves—recognize this as an act of trust on their part, and an invitation to you to trust them in return.

Making friends as an adult may be more complex than making friends as a child, but it can also be richly rewarding. Through the demands of daily life and the challenges we face, we all need a variety of friendships: friends to share common interests and hobbies with, friends who can support us (and whom we can support) in troubled times, and friends to share our lives with. Friendship enriches our lives, empowers us as individuals, and makes us happier, healthier people.

Clinicians Wanted

We are experiencing very high demand for clinical services in the community and are looking for exceptional clinicians to join us. 

 

Please apply if you are:

  • A gifted therapist focused on client care.
  • A clinician with great clinical references.
  • Collegial and enjoyable to work with.
  • Confident in your abilities.
  • Interested in being part of a growing group.
  • Licensed (Psychologist, LCSW, LMFT, LPC).
  • Specialize in working with couples and/or kids.

Let us do the marketing, billing, scheduling, credentialing -- all you have to do is provide excellent psychotherapy. We offer:

  • Group Health Insurance.
  • Generous pay with scheduled increases.
  • Retirement plan with matching.
  • Paid sick leave.
  • Licensure benefit.
  • CEU benefit.
  • Comprehensive administrative support from an exceptional, experienced team.
  • A healthy, positive, collaborative work environment.
  • Frequent consultation with an inspiring team of clinicians, including prescribers.
  • Ongoing CEU opportunities.
  • Advancement and supervision opportunities.
  • A 9 year track record of keeping our clinicians' schedules full.
  • A great way to supplement your existing private practice.

 

Apply Here

 

Our Annual Retreat

Our team gathered to advance our treatment skills and celebrate another year of helping thousands.

This year's retreat theme was 'Building Connections'. Our gifted clinicians learned advanced psychotherapeutic techniques while our dedicated administrative team focused on team building and enhancing patient services. In the past year our practice completed about 25,000 individual, couple and family sessions; helping over 500 families each week. We're looking forward to helping you and yours!

Copyright © 2019 Eugene Therapy LLC, All rights reserved.


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