We have all had those moments where we are afraid to “look” at something for fear of what we might uncover or see and our mind and emotions tend to build it out of proportion.
Merely placing our eyes on it releases what the mind and emotions have built up as something bigger than life to handle.
That willingness to go past the imagined fear and actually look can calm us down and put things in perspective while uncovering solutions that were before unavailable.
A client from many years ago wrote me this week in gratitude for learning to look and clear resistance to doing…when I had a session with you and we went through every paper in my drawers, even slips in my purse and every item on my desk, I became conscious of the multi-layered array of excuses that form the armor of my avoidance of cleaning up administrative tasks.
Our judgments on ourselves keep us from looking—at what we are spending, at what we are not doing, at our communications that may not be the most kind, at our patterns that keep us from being truly happy.
Moving past the imagined worst, the judgments on ourselves simply takes willingness and sometimes another person’s support.
I have a folder called Next for Me into which I have been placing my endless supply of creative ideas and pieces of writing I think relevant. On my Next Action list has been an entry to go through this folder and I keep dreading it. I finally got honest and said either do this or delete it and toss the folder.
I know the power of another person holding the focus for us, so I called a friend and asked her to come over and hold for me while I went through the folder deciding what is still relevant and what could be tossed. It was wonderful to have a sounding board and to laugh at what I discovered in the file. When we were done the floor was covered with papers to toss. One sheet remained in the file that I can actually take action on.
I got honest with myself in the presence of another and looked at what was really in my heart to move forward with and what needed to go.
I often ask clients who are hesitating with something to assign a number on a scale of 1-10 to an item or task and if it is not a 10 to let it go. That was my process.
For those things that we keep avoiding looking at and build up an exaggerated story about, the simple act of willingness to look brings the clarity (next action) of what needs to happen next. And maybe a friend or colleague can support you.
These things we are avoiding can often simply be a matter of not taking the time to focus. A project that you think will take 2-3 hours might take only 20 minutes if you are willing to focus (without interruption, or checking email and texts or answering the phone). Focus miraculously increases space and time.
And it starts with the willingness to look.
PS I am launching a weekly one hour on-line silent session for completing. The content is up to you. The silent support of a group of people all focused together with undivided focused attention on individual completion is powerful. If this interests you please reply to this email. I will send an announcement. Thank you.
1. Look at your list of next actions and find the one that has been on the list the longest and address it.
2. What in your life are you avoiding looking at? Take one step into it.
3. Anytime you hesitate to open an email (maybe it is from someone you are challenged by) simply bless the person and the content and just open it and look at it.
Martha Treats, created by Martha Ringer, is distributed to clients and guests. Comments and suggestions are welcomed, new guests too.