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Hi there,
Happy Father's Day (including my Dad who is one of my regular readers).

For me, this week's been a little trying and I responded accordingly on Twitter:
The Importance of Relationships
Up until a few months ago, I lived across the street from my parents. Add a short drive with a side of COVID and we've seen much less of each other. Sometimes your interruptions are missed, Dad.

Having spent time with a few friends this past weekend: it was jarring how much I've missed those interactions. With COVID numbers trending in the wrong direction, I worry for another full lockdown.

The wife and I are considering a short weekend somewhere (anywhere?) for a break from Groundhog day.

What's your biggest lesson during this time?
The Fine Line

Lazarus Lake, the mastermind behind my current virtual run across Tennessee and the infamous Barkley Marathon, provides commentary during his races. A recent post, the fine line, is a MUST READ. (Note: It's a Facebook link, but it should allow anyone to read. If not, email me.)

The margin between success and failure is a thin one, And that line is not drawn by the implement we think. It is not talent, age, or experience. Attention to detail is the most useful tool in our kit.

I think we all find it fascinating. At the top level, the difference in raw potential is minute. What is it that separates those who win from those who lose? Nine times out of ten, it is attention to detail.

Organizing ultramarathons of all kinds, I can tell you that the easiest races to organize are those with championship calibre fields. I don't have people writing to ask for information that has been given to them 10 times already. We don't line up at the starting line, and they did not realize they had to bring their own underwear. Championship level runners approach an event in a professional manner, and come prepared.

Those same qualities stand out in a virtual race. All runners need to do to record their daily miles is enter their PIN, click a date, and type their miles. The lower-ranked the runner, the greater likelihood of an incorrect or batched entry (multiple runs entered as one) and emails for help.

It struck a nerve because this problem is universal. I had to evaluate packets for Soldiers to get promoted this past weekend. They prepare them and they should be quality checked by their leaders. And they were chocked full of errors.

This is the parting line:

Which would you rather pay; attention to the details or the price?
Three Types of Listening

Developmental Coach Jennifer Garvey Berger recently appeared on the Farnam Street podcast.

She spoke about three types of listening: listening to win, listening to fix, and listening to learn.

Listening to Win = Make someone's problems go away by reframing or finding the silver linings.
Example: Don't you still have a job? Isn't that something to be grateful for?

Listening to Fix = Make someone's problems go away by solving them.
Example: You're feeling sad? Have you tried running or developing a morning routine?

Listening to Learn = Listening to empathize, understand, and allow people to find their own wisdom.
Example: What was that like for you? What does it mean when you say you're afraid?

We need to transition to listening to learn. We need to slow down and connect. Those conversations are challenging because they leave us wanting a clear resolution, but it's not about you. It's about the person speaking. The world is hurting. It's about time we start listening.

Shane Parrish then asked Garvey Berger what we can do for ourselves. These words stuck with me:

I think for me, I can only talk about for me here, first it’s about letting myself experience these emotions without, I guess it’s without trying to fix them or tell myself I shouldn’t feel this way. There’s a ton right now about you shouldn’t be upset, you’re in a so much better place than so many people. You shouldn’t be complaining, you shouldn’t be anxious. You shouldn’t be afraid. You shouldn’t be sad. You shouldn’t be any of these things because there are people who have it so much worse and we could just rattle off whole categories of society that have it worse. But actually, it’s completely unhelpful that comparative, you shouldn’t feel this way because other people ... this is a completely unhelpful self-talk and now I can recognize it as well. Yeah, I understand. Comparatively, I have it really good and I’m only living this life. This is the only life I have and so I can’t compare myself to those other people in this moment.
GRVAT Update

I'm running, virtually across Tennessee in the Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee 1000k (GRVAT). 634 miles (5 miles/day) between May 1 until August 31st.

This week, I fell off the fine line.

Wed: 0.44 (tragically, not a typo -- and not included)
Thur: 9.07
Fri: 0
Sat: 11.58
Sun: 3.07 (HOT walk with wife) 
Mon: 0 
Tues: ** AT LEAST 7 miles COMING!

Total Miles this Week: 23.72 miles**
Cumulative Miles: 231.66 miles
+/- from Finishing Pace: +1.66 (excluding Tuesday)
Quote of the Week

Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.

—Neil Gaiman
Until next week, stay safe, sane, and intentional.

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