Breaking Negative Reciprocity
So what do I mean by reciprocity? One dictionary definition, simply put, is 'mutual exchange'. Many people refer to reciprocity using everyday spoken expressions, such as "what goes around comes around", "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth", "what you give is what you get".
The challenge is that the reaction time between what we get and what we give is often a fraction of a second. Now when it's positive reciprocity, that's great, enjoy it, it doesn't happen often enough!
The problem is when we receive a negative comment, a negative look, a negative piece of feedback. Before even realising it, in a split second a micro-reaction will show on our face, in our tone of voice or in our behaviors. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the beginning of the end!
This is the moment where conflict can get triggered. The invitation for you is to start to notice that moment between the other person's behavior and your response to that behavior. Create more space and start to choose your response more consciously.
Below is the link to a very powerful, real-life example of people in a life-threatening situation. As you listen to the story, see if you can identify the moment where one of the potential victims made a conscious choice to respond/step into Partner (instead of react) in order to break the negative reciprocity. Keep listening to find out what happened next...
For more great insights from Amy, check out her blog Green Light Transformation.
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