Where the perfect parents? I mean, where on earth are all those perfect parents? 

Because they’re not here. 

And I can tell you for certain, they’re not there either. 

We’re not perfect parents. How could we be? We’re a mess. And those who say they aren’t either haven’t had kids yet, or haven’t had their second kid yet and still think they somehow mined pure parenting gold from the rich mines of their intellect and wisdom. I know because I was one of them. Turns out it was fool’s gold. I mean no disrespect for you first-timers. If it’s really easy for you, please enjoy it. But please don’t make the mistake of thinking that your experience should be everyone’s experience. Because it can’t be. And it won’t be for you if you decide to give your baby a sibling. 

Many of us KNOW we’re not perfect parents. We were abused as children. We were abused as teenagers. As adults. We have lost our jobs. We have lost our dreams. We have failed. And failed again. We have struggled. We have been alone. We have loved the wrong person. And loved the wrong person again. We have depended on someone who couldn’t follow through. We have been told that we are failures. We have been told that our opinions don’t matter. We have disappointed so many people, including ourselves. We have been aimless. We have made horrible decisions. We don’t know who we are, or what we want. And if we do know who we are and what we want, we don’t have the guts to go after what we want. We have been addicted.

I'm certainly not perfect- go here to judge me for yourself.

We are not strong enough, wise enough, smart enough, educated enough, rich enough, supported enough, to be parents.

We are a mess. 

And yet, here we are. 

Where are the perfect parents? I will tell you. 

We are. Here we are. Just as perfect as every other imperfect parent out there. 

And we have the power to grow, change, heal, and love ourselves, and the power to grow, guide, and love our children. We can overcome. We too will have imperfect children. But they will not be imperfect like us.

This newsletter is for the broken, imperfect, abused, and scarred parents of the world. Welcome. Ditch the guilt. You are enough. You CAN change. And your story matters too.

This Week On TLB 

I'll Never Have Children: A Survivor of Sexual Abuse- Thoughts on Becoming A Mother

***TRIGGER WARNING***
This story speaks of child abuse survival.

 I still remember the day that I realised that what was happening every summer was wrong, very wrong. I was 10 years old and we were making recycled paper at school. Some kid was talking about something their teenage brother was doing with his girlfriend. I felt sick. I’d already done that.  I’d been made to do “that” since I was 7. Except I wasn’t playing doctors and nurses. What I was being made to do was something that was reserved for consenting adults. The keyword being consenting.
READ MORE

I've Become A Creepy Mom

 There are so many things I never imagined I would do before becoming a mother. There was a list that I was aware of but I had no idea that there would be things I would do that I never even considered. My list had the typical items: never let child… whatever, doesn’t matter because we all know that was a joke. I thought I would never use my spit to clean my child’s face (ok, but for real, children are dirty and it is gross but my spit IS actually cleaner than some of the crust I’ve cleaned off their faces), never yell in public (but for real, they do run toward the street like it’s a bouncy house), have my kids in matching clothes (now I consider it a success if the clothes are mostly clean, bonus if they fit), not allow screen time (snort), and all the other typical I’ll-be-the-perfect-parent-don’t-have-kids-yet ideology.  READ MORE

Sexual Assault Awareness and Breastfeeding Advocacy

 April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month too.  The mixed feelings I have on this are all on the dark side of my soul.  An awareness that touches me personally in very deep ways.  An awareness I can never let go of and yet I would love to let it go even for just a day, let alone a month.  I am a sexual assault survivor.  So are 2 of my daughters.  So are at least 3 other female members of my extended family.  Three that I know of.  Likely more.  READ MORE

Breastfeeding When You Are Sick

When it comes to breastfeeding, one of the myths that drives me absolutely crazy and could actually be dangerous for your baby, is the idea that if you as a breastfeeding mom are sick, that you should discontinue breastfeeding until you feel better.

This is advice that is often given to moms by their pediatricians or obstetricians and it’s actually the complete opposite of what you want to do!  READ MORE

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