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Sleep. It's on the brain. What is enough? How do we get more of it? Can you actually MAKE little people sleep? (HA! Trick question.) What is safe? What works for me? We're talking about Safe Sleep for all ages this week with our TLB family. Want to get more advice on parenting or connecting with your family? Jump down to Our Stable Table and Beyond Moi or get connected on our NEW Facebook Group for more tips on #TLBsafeKids
-Your TLB Team
Hey Leakies,

How ya sleepin'? One of the most common questions new parents get is if their baby is a "good" sleeper or if they're sleeping through the night "yet" (asked as soon as day 2). As if sleep is some determiner of quality parenting, these questions are poised with utmost concern, as if the number of hours an infant sleeping being the ultimate in parenting success.

But nobody is asking if our babies are sleeping safely. 

Well, we are. This month we're focusing on safety with #TLBsafeKids with our sponsors with clek car seatsCalifornia Baby skin careNewton crib mattressesCatBirth Baby CarriersCrane USA humidifiers, and Rhoost and we're talking about it all, including safe sleep. It is a controversial topic, not everyone agrees on what constitutes safe sleep arrangements for infants. Not even public health officials. Campaigns focused on completely different ends of the spectrum abound. We're not here to tell you one right way, we're here to engage in a conversation and share information together. We respect you to make the best, informed decision that is right for your family according to the resources, circumstances, and information that are a part of your reality.

So, is your baby sleeping safely?

Safe sleep can look several different ways. Here are some of my favorite resources for safe sleep information. Pick what works for you.
  • Co-sleeping: room-sharing. Setting up the space to work for your family is key. If the baby's sleep space is attached to the parental bed or not depends on your needs. Room sharing could be a bassinet by your bed, a co-sleeper (such as Arm's Reach) attached to your bed to facilitate breastfeeding, a converted crib set up to side-car with the parental bed, a free-standing crib (safe crib set-up here), or a safe mattress on the floor. There are options and it is likely you'll need to adapt as your child grows. There's a good amount of evidence that room-sharing can be a great thing!
  • Co-sleeping: bed sharing. Anthropologist and leading infant sleep expert, Dr. James McKenna from the University of Notre Dame has many resources for co-sleeping families here. Detailed safe co-sleeping arrangements described here. This WikiHow has a thorough step-by-step guide for setting up your bed sharing space safely and Rebecca Michi shares how to safely figure out what works for your family with bed-sharing here.  Why the normal infant wants to be at your chest- one of my favorite articles on normal, healthy, term infants sleep and feeding behavior. 
  • Separated sleep: own room. Be it in a crib or a Montessori bed (what's that and why?), setting your baby up in their own room also requires intentional safe set-up. I love this in-depth check-list for safe crib set-up. And here are some tips for when it is time to transition your child from a crib to a bed. 
  • Separated sleep: shared room with other child. As a mom of 6, whenever our babies have transitioned out of our room, they've pretty much transitioned into sharing a room with a big sister. There are some special considerations to make when setting up space for siblings sharing a room together at a young age. You'll need to check for additional safety concerns for room sharing with siblings such as checking that choking hazards haven't been introduced to your younger child's bed (*cough* Legos *cough*) or that the sleep space has otherwise been compromised. The same safe sleep standards for cribs apply if you're using one and it isn't recommended for infants to co-sleep alone with siblings. Here's what a Montessori bed set up for twins looks like and the mom shares what she has learned along the way.
As a family we have also made some other arrangements for our sleep space safety. For our basement bedrooms, we use air purifiers (we're in an old musty house) and during the winter when we're running the heat, we have humidifiers running in all of our sleep spaces. Babies in particular benefit from having a humidifier running when they are sleeping (tiny nasal passages mean tiny pathways for their air!) see here for info and ideas, (but make sure you're avoiding potential problems by caring for your humidifier correctly!) so we make sure to have a humidifier set up where our babies are sleeping.

However you and your littles ones are sleeping at night may it be safe and eventually, enough. 


Jessica Martin-Weber

This Week On TLB 

Our night weaning journey, even more questions answered.

by Jessica Martin-Weber

What do you do if baby just screams bloody murder when DF/DH/partner goes in to settle them? Do u finally give in and give em the b@@b?

First I would try to sooth them without the breast but with cuddling with me.  Sometimes I think it works great to have the non-breastfeeding partner to do the soothing when night weaning.  Other times I think the child becomes confused, not only do they not get to breastfeed, they don’t get their mommy.  There is a significant bond between mother and child and that bond still needs to be honored. MORE QUESTIONS HERE

Bipolar Parenting- The Fear My Children Would Be Better Off Motherless

by Joni Edelman

In 2005, my oldest sons were five and seven years old. On a summer afternoon I found them in a hurricane of kicks and slaps, a disagreement over legos or hot wheels. I raised my voice, yelling,STOP. Unfazed by my clenched fists, my volume, the anger in my eyes and in my scowl, their fighting continued. My rage reached boiling. I scanned the room. My eyes landed on a wooden chair near the door and brought it down on the hardwood floor in a crash, splinters flying, the flooring scratched. The fighting stopped and their expressions told a story of terror.

I remember those faces — still. It’s been 10 years. READ MORE

Free to be SAFE!- #TLBsafeKids with Clek

Hey Leakies,
It’s time to talk about practicing safe…ty.
We’re not here to feed into any anxiety or to cause any stress about your family’s safety.
Be honest, you probably do that just fine on your own.
Since so many of us parents have no problem worrying about our families we wanted to start something to actually help reduce that worry.
I know, right? How are we going to do that without alcohol?
Community. Better than fine wine.
Through the month of September and even far beyond we’re building community to share information, tell our stories, confess our fears, admit our mistakes, and help each other work out the right safety decisions for our families. Free of judgment, #TLBsafeKids respects the individual responsibility of parents for their family and trust them to make the best informed safety decisions according to their individual resources, circumstances, and access to information. READ MORE

13 Truths of a Bed-sharing Family

by Joni Edelman

We share a bed with our babies. Actually two beds. We share two beds with our babies — because one bed just wasn’t enough bed.

I was a bed-sharer even in the early 90s when the Back to Sleep campaign was a newborn and the idea of an infant lying anywhere but a crib was gasp-worthy. How dare you risk your infant’s very life by being so foolish as to allow them to sleep in any position that deviates from flat on their back, on a FIRM mattress, without even so much as a blanket.  READ MORE HERE

Ask The Expert

Your questions asked. The Experts answer!

Rest Well- Sleep Support From Sleep Consultant Rebecca Michi

We asked sleep consultant Rebecca Michi to come help us all get some more sleep and we asked the Leakies to rate how they were sleeping on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the best and to tell us about it. Here are a few of the responses followed by Rebecca’s support.

Lauren: I get less then 5 hours of sleep at night. In short 2 hour chunks. My son is 14 months, and barely goes 2h between comfort nursing. I would cosleep, but then he crawls all over me, and pinches and nurses all night long. I can’t take it any more. He hardly eats solids, and barely eats during waking hours. I love the snuggles, but have seriously contemplated bottle feeding my next child just so he/she isn’t so attached at the hip to me. I have never been away from my son for more than 4 hours in his life. It is very tiring, and does affect my relationship with my husband and older daughter (4).

Rebecca: If he’s getting the majority of his calories during the night he will wake often to nurse. Try as best you can get a few more nursing sessions into him during the day. Often people have success feeding before or after their child has napped, the room is dark, their child is relaxed and there are very few distractions around. You can also try offering solid foods little and often throughout the day. You can always add breastmilk to his solid foods. MORE ADVICE HERE

Ask Your Question for an Expert Here!

Boobs and Bottles Around the Web

Oatmeal Stout Crockpot Coffee Cake- Lactation Booster!

by Carrie Saum

3 cups oat flour (You can make your own using old fashioned oats and your food processor or blender, which is the easiest and cheapest, IMO.)

  • 1.5 cups old fashioned oats
  • 1 cup coconut palm sugar
  • 2 Tbsp tapioca flour or arrow root powder (or wheat flour but it won’t be as milk boosting)
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp nutmeg
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1.5 cups stout beer (like Guiness)
  • 1/3 cup oil or melted butter
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 Tbsp honey (optional)


  1. In a large bowl, combine all dry ingredients.
  2. In a smaller bowl, combine all wet ingredients and blend thoroughly.
  3. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and mix until it begins to thicken.
  4. Pour batter into very well-greased or parchment paper lined crockpot. (I recommend parchment paper if you have a dark-colored crock.)
  5. Place kitchen towel over the top of the crockpot, and pull tight and flat.  Secure towel with the lid. (This will keep moisture from gathering and dripping onto your cake!)
  6. Cook on low for 3.5 hours.
  7. Once you can stick a knife into the cake and it comes out clean, it’s done!  Remove pot from heat source, and allow to cool for 30 minutes before eating.

#LeakyLooks: Milk-friendly Fashion For All Moms!

#LeakyLooks Like Labor Day!

So up until about…oh…two days ago I thought Labor Day was September 1st. My type A personality was swimming in glee until I realized that the powers that be decided that the first Monday in September was on the 7th. After I recovered from my acute “things are out of order” internal tantrum, I realized how much fun it could be! My little ones started back to school on the first, and nothing says “Wow! Happy back to school!” like Labor Day a “week later” than it normally is!
So here I give you a trio of #LeakyLooks, featuring some of my favorite #TLBsafeKids products! Yes. I put together a “Get Well Soon” look…because a certain TLB mama and her family are going through a cruddy cold bug right now and nothing says comfort like all of our favorite “feel good” things. <3 Want to post your favorite “feel good” #LeakyLooks or #LaborDayLooks and tag us on Instagram? I’d love to share your picks with our Leakies! For more details on these looks- CLICK HERE

Are you struggling? Need a positive and supportive community to help you in your feeding journey? Join us HERE.

Leaky Chronicles: Real Stories For Real Life

Our Nourishment Journey

by Angela Parish
I am a proud “lactivist” and breastfeeding Mama of almost 17 month old twins. There was a time when I thought I would never get here. Not because motherhood and nourishing my babies isn’t something I desperately wanted, but because I struggled (and still struggle) with infertility. Infertility isn’t really part of my breastfeeding (and bottle feeding) journey but it is part of a more complete picture of me as a mother and as a person. My husband and I struggled the dark years of infertility from November 2009 until the conception of our first successful (In Vitro) pregnancy in August of 2011. It was a long and painful year and ten months.

Honestly Ever After {Part One}
guest post by Kelli Martinelli

A few years ago I read an article titled, “Why Divorce Is Good For Children.” I was married at the time. I hadn’t ever imagined myself as divorced. I was in it to win it! What the win it part was, I’m still not sure. My marriage was 10 years old and bore 2 bright-eyed, articulate children who flipped my world on its head and made me see life and relationships through a new lens. “Why Divorce Is Good For Children.” Was it? Is it? Or is it just all SEO headlines and stock photos brimming with smiling, lightly tanned models plus a sidebar of recommended articles with click-bait titles? It was a HuffPo article, so it could go either way … READ MORE

This Week On Our Stable Table  

Creamy Polenta Ragu {Vegan and Gluten-Free}

by Carrie Saum
I have these neighbors. We will call them Wilfredo and Valentina, because those are their actual names. Cool, right? Well, they ARE cool and totally live up to those epic names. They moved in downstairs about eight months ago from New Jersey and we have become close friends. So close, in fact, that my two year old son, E, feels totally comfortable opening their front door and walking right in to say hello at any hour of the day.  (Yeah, we’re working on the whole concept of knocking.) READ MORE HERE

Working While Toddling {A Parenting Fail}

by Carrie Saum

I’m going to attempt something really ridiculous.  Ready?
I will blog while my toddler is awake.
(I’m trying to get a head start at this while he is asleep, FYI.)
As every Work-From-Home-Parent [WFHM] knows, nap time is GOLDEN.  All of the emails and texts you’ve been half-assedly (totally a word) responding to between buttering toast, playing dress up, unsnapping stuck legos, refilling water, putting toys back together, being a human racetrack and jungle gym? They get finished.  You get to do the real work, too.  Like feed yourself.  Maybe take a shower.  Type an entire sentence without your two year-old turning off your computer in one stealth move. READ MORE HERE

Beyond Moi

life. family. love.

This Week On Beyond Moi

Beyond Whining

by Jeremy Martin-Weber
There is nothing quite as irritating as the sound of a child whining. Except maybe the whistling whine of a dog. Or nails on a chalkboard. Or the drip drip dripping of a leaky faucet. Or someone messing with crinkly wrappers when you’re trying to enjoy a movie. Okay, so I may have a personal long list of highly irritating sounds.
But when it comes to children whining, namely: our own children whining, it is a sound that has a dynamic effect on our nerves as parents. It quickly escalates from irritating, to annoying, to ARRRRRRRRRGH! HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP??? – in about the time it takes me to finish typing a sentence, or would take me if I COULD COMPLETE A *BLEEP*-ING THOUGHT! MORE HERE


Jealous of how these kids can sleep?

Not too long ago we shared a funny picture of Smunchie sleeping inside a cabinet with The Leaky Boob Facebook page.  The Leakies joined us in sharing pictures of funny places and ways their kids have fallen asleep.  There were so many great ones, we couldn’t fit them all in one post on TLB so we decided to share a few of them here.  We’re kind of jealous of how these kids can sleep! SEE MORE HERE 

Join The Conversation!

10 Myths About Introverts

Based on a conversation we had with a friend, I think the world needs another reminder as to how introverts work. Being introverted and insecure are not the same thing. Being an introvert is not a condition that needs healing by becoming an extrovert. It isn't a condition at all, and it doesn't need fixing. It is a particular brain wiring that needs to be understood.

To Save Our Sanity: QUIET TIME

The early days of parenting taught us very quickly we needed to help respect the needs of everyone in the family for space and quiet. 

A Girl With A View

A t-shirt + Facebook + rape culture = bring out the crazy.
It turns out I have a few more thoughts after the post I made about the t-shirt that read 'Parental advisory, lock up your daughters' and asked some questions. 

Thirteen minutes worth of thoughts... WATCH HERE
Bonus Newsletter Giveaway Entry Code for an August Breastfeeding Box from The Baby Guy NYC: MyBabyGuyBox.

TLB Comics: Isn't It the Leaky Truth

"How To Handle Breastfeeding In Public"
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