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We love our kids!  They are all unique and have a great purpose.  We come along side our children and help guide them to develop and mold into the amazing humans they are destined to be.  One of the most important ways we do this is by working on a strong attachment from day one and giving them opportunities to connect in healthy ways with their family and the world around them. In this edition of The Leaky Boob newsletter, we are exploring ways we can connect with our children and help our love for them to abound.  Have a great week!
-TLB Team
Dear Leakies,

This month we're talking about relationships, connecting, and bonds with #TLBloves. We all need it but sometimes we take it for granted, particularly with our children.

It seems to be a given that parents will love their children and certainly, that's usually what happens but without intentionality, we may miss out on connecting with our children. Time and effort are involved and it doesn't just happen by being around them, being in the same room or home doesn't mean we're really present. 

There came a point in my parenting when I realized I was always available to my children and I was taking care of them but what I wasn't doing was being truly present... being with them. For me, being a stay-at-home-mom was when it was the most difficult for me to be with my children, there was always something demanding my attention and in my mind I had endless amounts of time to connect with them, I could always do it later. It wasn't until I returned to work that I realized that I may have been there for my children when I was staying at home but I rarely was with them. That had to change. 

My daughter helped me work on that when she was 2.5 years old, that story here.

Building intentional connections are important in the best of times, even more so in the worst of times.

Like when we don't really even like our own kids.

I know, what a horrible thing to admit.

But what a reality of parenting.

And it's ok to feel like that, even ok to admit it (but maybe not to your child, just to friends) so you can take a deep breath and remember your child isn't trying to be an a**hole, they're just being... a child.

So what can you do? How do you avoid damaging your relationship with your child? I'm not sure I have the answers but I appreciate what Jeremy, dad of 6 girls, had to say about this over on BeyondMoi.com, here. We also loved this post on why you should hug your kids when they're being horrible.

Join us on Instagram, Facebook, and twitter as we share our connection stories with #TLBloves. So grateful for the sponsors we have who believe such connections are important; MilkMakers, Earth Mama Angel Baby, fair trade Pebble Toys, Chompy Chic chewable jewelry, Bamboobies, and Baby K'Tan baby carriers.

May you find the deep connections with your children in a way that lasts.

Jessica Martin-Weber
Founder, TheLeakyBoob.com


 

This Week On TLB 

Infant and Child Feeding Advocacy- Why I Continue


I’ve moved beyond the debates, the arguments are tired as far as I’m concerned. Five and a half years into running The Leaky Boob I’ve heard all the arguments and not just online. People will say they never experience any negativity except online, as though it must not exist because they haven’t encountered it personally. But I have, I’ve heard all the arguments in person, to my face. READ MORE

Ask The Expert- [Video] Weight Gain in Your Breastfed Baby

 

 One very common concern that comes up frequently for breastfeeding moms and dads is that their breastfed baby is not gaining weight fast enough, or as quick as other babies. This often happens when parents take the baby to the pediatrician and the pediatrician says that the baby’s just not gaining fast enough. They will use a growth chart, plot your baby’s weight on the growth chart, and then say your baby needs to be growing faster!

As you can imagine, this can be very concerning for a breastfeeding mom, because you’re thinking, ”do I need to supplement?”…”am I just not making enough?”  READ MORE

#TLBloves- A Focus on Love and Relationships


Announcing the launch of The Leaky Boob’s brand new movement: #TLBloves.

#TLBloves is a movement to talk honestly and openly about relationships and connection. With our partners, our children, and most of all, ourselves.

Humans have a deep need to connect with each other, forming bonds and experiencing love. But it isn’t always easy and sometimes it is downright confusing to be in relationship with others. With #TLBloves, we aim to provide families with community support through information sharing, narrative, and personal challenges, all free of judgment.  READ MORE

 

How to Help Your Kids Love and Connect with Their Father After Divorce (Even When You HATE HIM)

 

 I will be the first to tell you, I HATE divorce!  I never thought I would find myself divorced, single at 35, whilst raising 3 kids under 8; but life is unpredictable.  There is a LOT of judgement out there when it comes to divorce. I know I’ve dealt with my fair share of critics, especially having walked through this as not only a Christian, but also, a pastor’s wife. People told me I was “ruining my life”, that I was likely, now “damned to hell”, and the real zinger, “I had selfishly ruined my kids FOREVER”.  And, all this to scare me into staying in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship I had worked hard to keep together for over 17 years. I realized that with hard work and openness, my kids didn’t have to be “ruined” and infact, they could very well thrive in a two-home, co-parenting arrangement.  READ MORE

Cooking with Kids: Minestrone 

 


Ingredients:

  • 2tbsp olive oil
  • ½ onionchopped
  • 2 garlic cloveschopped
  • 1 celery stalkchopped
  • 1 carrotcut into ¼-inch pieces
  • 1cup canned crushed tomatoes
  • 2cups brothchicken or vegetable
  • 2cups water
  • 1 bay leaf
  • ⅛tsp dried oregano
  • ¼tsp dried thyme
  • ¾ tsp salt
  • ¼tsp freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 zucchiniquartered lengthwise and thinly sliced
  • 1can (15 oz) white beans(navy, cannellini, or kidney beans)
  • 1cup frozen Italian green beans
  • ¾ cup kalechopped
  • 2tbsp parselychopped
  • 2tsp chopped fresh basilor ¼ teaspoon dried basil
  • 1½ cup cooked small whole wheat pasta
  •  shredded Parmesan cheesefor topping

See full recipe and info here, including instructions for the kids.

Call for Speakers- MILK: An Infant Feeding Conference, 2016

 

Parenting and Feeding Around the Web

10 Ideas for Connecting with Your Kids
Fostering Emotional Connections with Your Child Who Has Autism
Bonding with Your Newborn


Sibling Love-Respecting it, Working For It, and
Preserving It
We have an amazing online community we'd love for you to join! Needing positive support in your feeding journey? Have questions about weaning? Supplementing? Breast Pain? We're here to help! Click on our logo to get added or Join The Leaky Boob Community HERE.

You Know You're Close Friends When...

We all have friends, but only a few are close friends. You recognize some of these within you and a certain friend? You're probably close! READ MORE

Beyond Moi

life. family. love.

This Week On Beyond Moi

When You Don't Like Your Kids

One of the lessons that we end up teaching each of our children is that it’s ok for them to not like certain people, but that not liking someone does not entitle them to treat that person poorly.

It’s hard for our kids to admit that they don’t like someone. I’m not sure exactly why. I suspect it’s because they feel that they are expected to like everyone, and it probably unintentionally comes from Jessica and me. I wonder if they end up processing the message that they should try to get along with everyone as an expectation that they should also like everyone.  READ MORE

Love Stones

It all started when the 4 year old that had been enthusiastic about going to her little Waldorf Kindergarten class 3 days a week suddenly became reluctant and difficult, often refusing to go into her classroom.  We tried everything, being gentle and listening to her, being firm but lovingly telling her that she was going to school, giving her space, going in with her, giving her kisses in her hand to hold for later, letting her bring something special from home to encourage her through her day, and even leaving her crying with her teacher twice.  Nothing worked.  READ MORE

 

Beyond Yelling

We have chosen not to spank our children and we aim to parent with respect and gentleness.  This is a departure from how we started (though, to be honest, we would have told you we were parenting with respect and gentleness with spanking and yelling because we believed it was necessary) and it has been a transition, one we consciously chose about 10 years ago.  It was incredibly hard at first and sometimes still is.  Seriously, before you accuse a parent that doesn’t spank of being lazy (“parents these days don’t spank because they are lazy…”), spend a day following them around, it is SO much harder to not spank.  READ MORE

Join The Conversation!

Why You Should Hug Your Kids When They Are Being Horrible

Our kids can be real jerks sometimes. This short article challenges parents to replace their natural desire to let their kids have it, and offer a hug instead. 

I do this sometimes. And it feels right when I do. 

But it would be dishonest of me not to say that yelling at my children still feels good. And yet I'm honest enough with myself to recognize that when I yell at my children it often isn't for the sake of our relationship. It's because it makes ME feel better to let my frustration out. And I know it's not the best for our relationship - otherwise I wouldn't feel compelled to apologize for yelling.

Offering a hug instead of yelling reminds me that my children are more important than whatever issue we are facing, and that communicating love is the most important thing. Why can't I remember to do so more often? I need to work on this. 

What do you think?

~ Jeremy  READ MORE

 

TLB Comics: Isn't It the Leaky Truth
The Baby/ Toddler Balance...The Struggle is Real+ Bonus Frame
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